Respect Is a Two-Way Street

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Respect is a two-way street

Ladies, we’ve either heard it or said it: “All the good men are married or gay,” or, the classic: “I don’t need a man, I’m handling my own business.” Those statements may be legitimate and have some semblance of truth behind them, but ladies, let’s get real. Just as there are plenty of fellas out there with jerk potential, there just as many ladies out there with witch tendencies. Because of that, ladies, we sometimes miss the good man that is staring us right in our face, or even worse, treat him terribly and destroy a potentially good relationship. Go ahead and “do you,” but don’t diss him in the process.

Illustration time ladies – let’s assume that you are young professional (a lawyer, perhaps). The guy you are dating is just out of school and starting his first job working in sales for a cable company. You have been involved for almost two-and-a-half years. You’ve met each other’s family, taken vacations together, and spend every night together (either his place or yours). You have a good man and you two crazy kids are in love!! Now, a few months into his job, he gets laid off. After three months of pounding the pavement looking for a new job, he is still unemployed. What do you do in this situation?

Let me tell you what I have seen often happen in this situation: the man begins to feel insecure because his woman is making the lion’s share of the money. The woman starts hiding things from her man and she starts using phrases like “my money.” He gets depressed and discouraged and she’s telling her friends that he’s a lazy bum. Then whammo – now you’re fighting all the time, the relationship ends and another good man bites the dust.

So what should happen? Ladies – 1) remember that this is harder on him than it is on you and you should uplift and support him, 2) stop using phrases like “my money” or telling him you’re going to do something for yourself because he can’t – just because you can floss, doesn’t makes it okay to be rude to him, and 3) stop perpetuating the stereotype (i.e. if he can’t even take care of me, what good is he?). A relationship is a partnership.

Don’t get it twisted. I know that there are still those little boys running around thinking it’s hot to rack up as much booty as possible and dog women out. But, let’s be real, there are still those little girls out there who think that behavior is cute and allow it to be okay (to be clear – that behavior is not okay). However, those aren’t the fellas or ladies I’m trying to enlighten. I’m talking about the fellas with swag and the ladies with flava that are doing their thang. So, to those ladies, I say, when you find that good man, treat him with the same dignity you should want for yourself. To those good men out there, try to be patient with those women who still have a little bit of that “dumb little girl” mentality, because one day they will grow up and realize that the mentality isn’t cute and it’s not okay.

Has this happened to you and men what do you think?

Article by Mr. Swagger

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Mr. has written 28 article(s) for us.