I Miss Old Facebook

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I’m a Facebook veteran. Nay… a historian. I’ve been on Facebook since the face was still just a fetus in the womb of Mark Zuckerberg’s mind. HA! Ok fine, I’ve been on Facebook since the face was chubby and cute and still lived in diapers. Facebook was founded in February 2004, and I got on there July 2004. I’ve been on Facebook since the URL was www.THEfacebook.com and not facebook.com. Yes. THAT long. Back then, it was just me, Mark Z, and his 8th cousin removed by marriage, John Smith. We kicked it REAL hard (mkay we didn’t kick it at all but it wasn’t the overcrowded place it is today). Well, at least it ain’t MySpace (yet), the dark alley in the bad neighborhood of the innanets.

When Facebook started, profiles were one uncomplicated, tabless page that listed the exact day you joined, your interests and the college you go to. Plus, at that point, only a select few colleges were on there. Ivy Leagues and Big Tens are the main ones I remember since I went to one of them (the elitist in me loved this exclusitivity). And wall postings looked like text messages. We call this time, the Dark Ages. Someone slowly but surely turned the light on and now the light is blinding and I wish they’d turn it back down a little bit because it’s all in my eyes. The following things did not exist in the beginning: groups, organization pages, newsfeeds, applications or notes. I actually didn’t mind this simplicity because it meant I didn’t spend hours doing one thing (well, what Facebook didn’t take of my time, “The Sims” and AIM did, but for the purposes of this diatribe, we shall pretend I was a studious college student).

Then came the changes as Facebook expanded, often met with protest from the people users. I’ve been there for every facebook rebellion “Students against Facebook opening to high schoolers”, “Petition against NewsFeed”, “Lovers of Global Groups”. I held my ePicket sign each time and marched on the highways of the intrawebs. Facebook ain’t revert of course, just upped the privacy settings. And we all are aware of Terms of Service Gate ’09. But we musn’t forget the ultimate change came when the ‘Book got rid of “The Face”. *Sigh* I sang a sad love song then.

Remember him?

However, in all them changes, the best ever made was the addition of Newsfeeds, which made eNosiness SO much easier. I’d sign on to my homepage and gossip would await me on who broke up with who, who wrote the note calling their roomie all types of names but a child of God, and who’s picture got tagged in Cancun while they were supposedly having pinky toe surgery. Twas AWESOME! Newsfeeds was the 3 yr old who everyone didn’t think was paying attention, but as soon as Mom came home, would spill the beans about how the babysitter invited over a boy and then went into the closet and was crying because she was “hurt”. Mmhmmm. I love Newsfeeds.

Then came last week when I saw new Facebook. EEEK! I think my eyes went cross when I saw ALL the activity on my homepage. It was status tourette’s. Newsfeeds wasn’t really much of a feature anymore because Facebook reported on EVERYTHING, no matter how insignificant. The # of friends who joined Taraji Henson’s page is of no interest to me. For the nosy fools concerned citizens like myself, who need to know who to comfort upon their breakup from their 1-month boyfriend who just happens to be their soulmate *side-eye*, this new layout does NOT work.

Facebook is being selfish with my needs. And I know they are trying to be the new Twitter with the focus on status updates, but there only needs to be one Twitter, not two. Too much!

Sidenote: I’ve been mad at Twitter for the past coupla days. I guess they are expanding so much that they can’t handle all the traffic. It’s been on MAJOR wonk since Monday, deleting updates and replies. I even did a whole Twitter roast and only one remains. It reads: “Twitter is the blue pill in the matrix of life.” Hmm…maybe Twitter deleted the rest of my roasts because it was salty. Yupppp that must be it. Either way, I need them to fix that ASAP since they are clearly playing bald-headed games (no Amber Rose).

New Facebook sucks! I need to go ePicket at the Facebook headquarters in Palo Alto, California to revert to Old Facebook circa January 2008. Who’s with me? *pumps fists vigorously in the air*

*crickets*

HMPH! *pouts*

*whispers* PSST! Join my Blog Network on Facebook!

(Editor’s Note: … Join our Blog Network too!)

Tagged as: Facebook, Myspace, Twitter

Article by Luvvie

Luvvie roasts and rants at AwesomelyLuvvie.com. She is also the co-founder of The Red Pump Project, an initiative to raise awareness on the effect of HIV/AIDS on women & girls (www.theredpumpproject.com). Luvvie is also a social media consultant and web designer.

Luvvie has written 48 article(s) for us.