Install-A-Husband

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Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower, dinner, and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs:

* Romance 9.5
* Personal Attention 6.5
* Feet Rubbed 2.0

Also, the system then installed undesirable programs:

* NBA 5.0
* NFL 3.0
* MLB 4.1
* Fantasy Football 17.0
* Strip Clubs 69.0

Finally, certain programs will simply not run:

* Conversation 8.0 runs a reverse mute function
* Housecleaning 2.6 crashes the system
* Fellatio 68.0 requires a password which I don’t have

Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3, His Momma 2.1, and Girlfriend Tag-Team 13.2 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do?

Signed,

Desperate.

=======================================

DEAR DESPERATE,

First, keep in mind,

* Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package
* Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download Tears 6.2, upload Breakfast & Bed software, and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.

If that application works as designed, Husband1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0,Flowers 3.5, and Trip to Jamaica/Bahamas/Hawaii 23.0.

However, PLEASE BE ADVISED that overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, PlayStation 3.0, XBox 360.0, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. (Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta.)

WARNING – Whatever you do, D0 NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.) In addition, please do not attempt to re-install the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0 and may cause ex-girlfriend hackers to download Husband 1.0′s software. (!!!!!)

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program and built for the long haul, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend:

* Cooking 3.0
* Hot Lingerie 7.7
* Wear Pumps In Bed 2.0
* Pay For Occasional Dinner 1.1
* Oral Sex 12,000.0

Good Luck Desperate

Thanks, Management

-Ed.
www.edthesportsfan.com

Tagged as: Marriage, Relaionships

Article by Eddie Maisonet

Ed The Sports Fan is a twenty-something sports & lifestyle blogger from Oklahoma. He writes the 2008 Best Black Sports Blog. Check him out at www.edthesportsfan.com.

Eddie has written 45 article(s) for us.