Ask-A-Guy: Did he just want the panties?

Spread it!

Share

Email This

Fellas,

i am a little confused. Ok….. i believe the writings are on the wall…… but i may need for someone to put it to me flat. I have listened to the way Preston Swagger, I.M Haight, and Seymore Monet answer things…. and if u guys all will, please respond because i need a little perspective from you.  i just met this man right, and i was attracted to him and he was attracted to me as well. We emailed each other a couple of times, texted each other at work, and even spoke on the phone. However when we got up…..and he came to my crib, we chilled, and he tried to slightly make moves, but nothing too aggressive. The night ended decently, but ever since it seems like I have been the one to call him first and text him first all the time.. it doesn’t seem the same.

Before he would text me first while we were at work; however he still calls me when he gets off, but its never a ” let us get to know each other conversation.” Its always short and ends with him saying he’s going to call back…. and guess what? He doesn’t. I would feel lucky as hell to even get a text from him after he says that. What would you guys say…. should i just fall back???  (and when i fall back i fall back hard and possibly for good…. because i am pretty and get alot of what i want)

Signed,

Does He Just Want The Draws???

Dear DHJWTD,

First, thank you for your email.  I’ll respond first and I’ll make sure the fellas swing by and give you their opinions in the comments section.  You came to the right place if you want the truth put plainly — so here it is:

Fall back!

How did you come to meet this guy?  Was it through work or the gym? At the club?  I ask because I’m trying to figure out 2 things:

1 – Does he see you on a regular basis?  Does he see the type of guys you date, or how often you go out?

2 – Do you have any mutual friends?

Here’s why I ask — your scenario sounds like one in which this guy definitely thought he could get your panties off.  Not only did he think this, but he thought it could happen with little to no work put in!  Has he seen you with several other guys?  Have you dated a guy he knows?  Does he know one of your girlfriends?  Like I said, something or (more likely) someone made this guy think you would be an easy conquest.  That’s why he just shot a few emails — then a few texts — and then somehow managed to be at your crib — trying to “slightly make moves”.  (Note: You don’t want “first dates” to start or end inside your house.  That’s WAY too easy for us).

It’s also the reason why he’s been distant since.  When men think something will be quick and easy — we don’t value it much — which is why if it doesn’t, in fact, come quick and easy — we can easily walk away.

In short — he thought he could hit.  He thought it would be easy.  When he was unsuccessful — he pretty much said “f*** it” (no pun intended) and became distant.  He’s only occasionally emailing or texting now to see if you’ll change your mind.  Your goal should be to try and find out what made him think you were “easy” in the first place.  Because…umm…i assure you…he did.

Tagged as: Commitment, Intimacy, Love & War, Sex

Article by

Whassup people – my name is J.R. I’m a Jersey boy (born and raised), writer, people watcher and sports fan. I’m a black man with a degree, a job, no kids and no “priors”. It depresses me that those facts make me “rare”. I’m a guy’s guy. I’ve been in few committed relationships and a lot of…well…whatever you would call everything short of a committed relationship. I also have indisputable theories on life and love that you need to hear. Theories can be indisputable, right??

has written 27 article(s) for us.