Before heading to work on Tuesday, I caught Tyra talking on her show about black women and their hair. Here’s my
quick commentary after I watched the episode:
The old good hair versus bad hair debate. As tired as I am of reading and talking about this topic, it’s one of those issues that never goes away in the black community. Just as much as I’d like swagga and “no homo” to go away, I wish “good hair” would go away too.
As “serious” as Tyra likes to make some of her shows, I just knew some foolery was about to take place.
Especially because Tyra’s hair looked like this:
I had to give the TV the side-eye.
Those blonde lace-front weaves are as attached to Tyra’s head as Beyonce’s.
Today she wants to bring out the natural look for this episode. Foolery.
What’s interesting about the whole issue is that it’s two-fold. America’s standard of beauty that often shows skinty white woman as what’s beautiful plays a part. But the black community keeps the good hair versus bad hair issue alive as well.
It starts from childhood. Tyra showed a black mother giving her young daughter a perm, and the child crying and screaming during the process. But of course the child smiled with glee afterward because her hair looked better. One of the saddest moments during the show was one young girl who likes to wear a blond Hannah Montana wig because she doesn’t like her own hair. “I think white people have better hair than black people,” she said.
Then Tyra said she has her own version of the Hannah Montana wig that she puts on. My soul died at that moment. She brought it back to the foolishness. Tyra was having withdrawals from the lace-front wig.
The adult guests were an interesting bunch.
One woman said she has good hair because it has white girl flow and can move. Aw lawd. What year is this? And one mother said at 11, she knew she would have a baby outside of her race so that her child would have good hair. Her baby’s father is Latino.
One white girl in the audience asked, “I just don’t get the whole not washing your hair every day thing?”
And in her answer, Tyra compared the black hair process to marinating chicken. Oh Tyra. SMH.
The main guest was a black woman who’s considering going natural, and was concerned about how people would view her. Girl, you ain’t getting plastic surgery! You can go back to the perm if you don’t like it. Calm down.
Personally, going natural was definitely an interesting process. In college, I just went natural because I liked having braids and couldn’t afford to perm my hair on the regular. In the Florida heat, the in-between of perm and non-perm was not what’s up. So I grew a fro and my fellow classmates loved to touch the puff.
One time after taking out braids and going back to the puff, one of my non-black co-workers asked me how I changed my hair like that. In my mind, I was like, “All I did was take out the braids! The fro was always there!” But, alas, I attempted to explain the difference.
Then I got tired of the fro and started to lock my hair. My mom and aunt almost had a fit when I brought it up. Why that? They asked. You won’t be as pretty anymore! Just keep the fro. I had to show them pictures of what I wanted them to look like and then they were cool.
Now that I’ve had them for about a year, most of the comments/questions I get are from black women wondering about the process. But no one pats my hair like with the fro J.
My process was more about convenience than making a statement. My hair’s healthier in the locks than when I had the perm.
I don’t understand women who try to convince other women how to style their hair. “Girl, put a perm in those naps!” or “You have self-hate; just release the perm from your soul!”
To me, I just say, Do You. If you love the natural look, that’s great. If your wrap is fierce, swing it freely. If you’re afraid to go natural, know that you can always go back to the perm.
What about you? Have you had any hair image issues? Do you think the good hair versus bad hair debate will ever go away?
Article by Ebonie
Ebonie, based out of Atlanta, is the author of the blog, WhatLooksLikeCrazy [whatlookslikecrazy.wordpress.com]. She’s a recent journalism grad, and WLLC is a mix of opinion and reported stories about the black community, politics, music, and current events.
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{ 20 comments… read them below or add one }
I’ve had issues with my hair since I was little. Everyone in my family has wavy/curly hair down their backs like plenty of island women do. My hair came out very thick and tightly coiled. My family made plenty of sideways comments as I was growing up and my mother started perming early. My mom also has no clue how to do hair. LOL. I dealt with these issues a lot until I got to college. I went natural after a certain collegiate experience and had mixed emotions about it. Sometimes I liked it, but mostly I cried. That lasted about 10 months. Looking back on it, I wish I would have held out a little bit longer. I just didn’t know how to style it. Now, I have a perm out of convenience. I know that sounds funny. But I only perm my hair every 21/2 months and it’s growing nicely. But it’s way more manageable. I had to let go of that good/bad hair crap. I also have to let the natural lovers know that it aint for everybody so stop telling me I hate myself because I have a perm.
Tyra’s show made me want to kill myself slowly.
@JG*, OMG, I have. THEE. SAME. ISSUE. My family is from Bermuda. They all have beautiful hair! My hair grows long but NOT pretty. My mother (whose mother is British and her mother is white- i say that to say that knowledge of true care of black hair care was nonexistent lol) did not really know how to take care of my hair. Before turning me over to a professional, she spent hours using a little cream from Bermy to press out my coiled coif with a hot comb. I still deal with these issues in college. I had a perm in high school, but for 5 years now I have been natural (Ha minus the faux hair I sometimes used to cover my shame lol) I recently removed all faux hair and chopped my own hair to my shoulders and straightened it without the use of a perm and I must say I am in love with the cut but I am very self conscious about the length. ::Sigh::
@Sharri, Sharri….. wild. My family is from Bermuda too. $100 bucks says we’re somehow related. LOL
@JG*, WOW! I never meet anyone from Bermy that I didn’t already know lol. And considering are similar hair woes, we probably are related- you know the island is SO small. Ha, we should look into that! But yes, I must admit, I still suffer from the good/bad hair thing at times. I’ll never forget this sexy Jamaican man I met in Bermuda on an extended trip whilst in high school. He had locks (well kept ones lol). He ended up coming to the states to visit me, and my friends agreed he was very cute. However, the major theme amongst them was: “Don’t have any kids with him or they’ll end up with that ‘nappy’ hair.” It’s sad that this dead protein growing out of our scalp can cause so much pain and almost a form of intra-racism (did I just make up a word? probably). Even today, a male friend saw my haircut and said- “I usually hate short hair (mind you my hair is right above my shoulders), but you have that ‘Rihanna exotic’ look so it’s okay.” WTFUDGE?!! come on now, was I really supposed to take that as a compliment?! And ps- I look NOTHING like Rihanna.
People always say “Alissa you have good hair.” To which I reply, “I have a relaxer”. Let’s be real. Lol. I have a lot of hair and it looks pretty and “good” when I first come out of the hair salon. However there is nothing “good” about having to run from precipitation like the Wicked Witch of the West or risk looking like Chaka Khan. Haha. Last year, I seriously considered growing out my relaxer. I only get one about every four months anyway. But my mom said, “What’s the point? As soon as you wash your hair, it’s going to be so hard to manage, you’re going to be right back in the hair salon getting it relaxed again.” I scheduled a retouch for that weekend. Sometimes I wish I could just let it go, but I’m sorry, wild hair is not professional…or cute (on me lol).
@ JG, I think Tyra’s show made a lot of women feel that way. Talking to friends and reading all your comments, it’s interesting all of the different issues we have with our hair.
@Ebonie, In better response to your post, I think the reason I didn’t like the show is because Tyra had all these women with serious issues. There wasn’t enough people on the preaching why this debate is flawed and tired. There wasn’t a beautiful strong presence to show these women the error in their thoughts. Homegirl who talked about the white girl flow seriously made me upset. I would have been like “how dare you utter those words on national tv? The fact you that that was okay to do means we need to have a session backstage on how black women need to start appreciating BLACKNESS” The girl who spoke next was like “Well, we’re part of the Eurocentric society” blah blah blah. Instead of saying white girl flow, she could have just as easily said the MIchelle Obama Bounce.
The issue goes way beyond hair. Black women still don’t get it. BLACKNESS IS BEAUTIFUL. No matter how you do it. If you want a perm, fine! If you love the body and softness that your hair has, GREAT! But don’t go out of your way to desire it because it reminds you of white women. They are no longer the standard! Just ask our First Lady.
@JG*, I feel where you’re coming from. When I was watching, I thought, did Tyra have a point for the show when she thought of it, or did she just think, I’m just going to put some black women on stage and talk about hair? The Black Is Beautiful people at the end tried to briefly bring up what you’re talking about, but she only gave them like 2 seconds to talk.
I haven’t seen the episode however I am aware that Tyra can be extremely extra an uninformative so I do not put it past her. However, I must commend her for evoking this conversation because often we consider the usage of these terms to be socially acceptable within our community. I personally have dealt with issues concerning my hair as well because of its thickness. While many other people have deemed my hair “good” because of its length, I often despised it because of its susceptibility to humidity, and difficulty to manage. I am now coming to terms with my hair type, I will be 3 years removed from the relaxer game next month and I’m always proud to tell people that. This conversation will never get old because its truly embedded in our ideologies and self hatred can never be under discussed. Until we can find the beauty in our own skin, eye color, hair texture, length, body types etc. these sort of issues must be continuously executed so we can hopefully move beyond our insecurities.
I have to agree to everything mentioned above. I have AA and Native American roots so I can wear the natural or permed; I choose to go permless but straighten my hair because of managability and ease(my hair is super thick,long and curly w/o heat or help). I embrace both cultures equally and love myself and my hair. While my husband’s family does not have a good track record with hair I feel that either way our child’s hair comes out it can be managed and loved regardless. I think black is truly beautiful an we should all embrace our inner beauty.
I am fine with anyone who chooses to have or not have a perm. What saddens me are the women who think they have to have it! I went natural almost a year ago (cut it straight off to 1 inch). It was difficult partly because I have some of the NAPPIEST hair I have ever encountered lol but I pressed on…I get so sick of people saying “girl, I couldnt do it”. (inner monologue) DO WHAT? (end inner monologue) or they say, “yeah I would but have you seen my hair”…(a big, big sigh). If you dont want to go natural (dont want to put in the work because yes, it can be taxing…dont think its becoming of you) then dont but dont tire the rest of the world with the excuses about why you cant or about your hair being “too nappy”. I love my napps, I embrace them as much as I know how because this is the only hair I will ever get…this is how I was born and this is how I plan to go out. We live in this place where people are unable to accept themselves…Have I thought about my future career and what not? Sure! But if they dont accept my fro, my kinkies, or whatever else then basically they are not accepting my culture (the real one, not the permed one (no disrespect)) or the way I came into this world (not trying to be dramatic just trying to get my point across). How I feel: You should only be able to get a perm, wear make-up, wear the get-em-girl clothing when you realize that you don’t have to!
Tyra’s show didn’t say much, in my opinion.
Been chemical-free for over 6 years and will never go back. Proud dreadhead for 4 years. But that’s just me. To each their own.
the braids were a little extra to me too, as a matter of fact once she told the little girl that she’d rather wear her hair like that I turned the channel. She is an idiot and I honestly felt my IQ dropping significantly while watching her brand of coonery.
IAM KINDA YOUNG …..I REALLY DONT LIKE MY HAIR BECAUSE WHEN I WASH IT,IT STRANKS THEN I HAVE TO BLOW DRY IT OUT WITH A DRYER/W A COMB ATTACH.THEN ITS PUFFY.I TRY TO WHERE I NATURAL BUT IT JUST DNT LOOK RIGHT;BUT I NEVER HAD A PERM IN MY LIFE SO HAPPY BUT SOME TIMES I JUST BE WOUNDERING HOW WOULD MY HAIR TAKE TO A PERM???LIKE I HAVE GOOD HAIR ITS JUST VERY FRIZZY;LIKE FATHER LIKE DAUGHTER….LOL;NEED SOME ADVICE
@KAMIYAH, By good hair I hope you mean healthy. You need to find a good conditioner and keep it moisturized. Also, Extra Virgin Olive Oil on top of a good moisturizer really helps when you do it daily. But if you would like to see your hair “bone straight” try going to a Dominican Hair salon once and they can press your hair out something serious! I have a perm, but I’ve been natural before.
What in the world is “good hair”? Hair is hair, and you need to know how to style it, or it will look like crap. Whether “good” or “bad?” I really wish ppl would stop referring to hair as good vs bad though.
Wow…I am in the middle of this same internal debate! I have started a natural hair blog to record my experience. I decided to go natural after a bad perming incident — chemical was left on my hair and severely burned my scalp. I had to wear wigs to keep the very top of my head protected from cool air. It has healed since then, but I do not have a desire to go back to a perm at all. I will start wearing my own hair — straightened — in about a month. That will mark my 1-year anniversary since deciding to go natural. I don’t preach this for everyone…it is a personal decision, one in which I am so excited about doing…
I’d say…do research, talk to other naturals and have lots of patience if you go down that road!
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As a Baby Booming Black female, who still gets her share of compliments overall, I put down that ‘good hair, bad hair’ crap in the 1960′s after high school. I wore my first natural and the freedom and beauty of me, as if I were born to wear it, was awesome. I personally did not like my hair ‘pressed out’ and appearing much long and being told that my ‘straightened hair’ was good hair by friends. I liked to look at myself with that ‘puff’ to my braids and pony tails between pressing. What century is this anyway? With a beautician in the family and some beauty culture in my background I say that black females’ hair is highly versatile and you can perm, straighten, leave natural whatever (besides weaves sorry) but leave those labels like ‘good and bad’ alone. You’re saying the softer, finer texture is ‘better’. And Tyra, that self centered buffoon of a model has worn me down. I find myself looking away from the screen too when she expresses her eye color. Get over it people…..accept you for you. I’ve been told my hair was the g word and frankly, I know that it simply is what it is. I know how to work with it. I could care less about labels.