Without fail I hear ticking everywhere I go, it’s the background melody to any woman I talk to. Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock. The cogs are moving, getting louder with every second. And sometimes, I already hear the alarms going off. Some woman’s figurative biological clock drowning everything out. Including common sense and standards. Most of you already know how I feel about this imaginary timekeeper. To say it bluntly, I’m not a fan. I’ve thought that “Age Ain’t Nothing But A Number” since Aaliyah was messing with Kells. Most women will say they agree, but at the same time their clock is weighing them down like they’re Flavor Flav. Forcing them to be with someone who’s not quite right for them, but is good enough. Isn’t that’s a recipe for disaster? I mean, why settle?
I know a lot of women in their 20s (early to late) that are looking to settle down as soon as possible. And the urge to do just increases the closer they get to 30. Though, I think it goes into overdrive when they turn 25. A few of my female friends start to toss around the idea of getting with their “Safety D” (term coined by RightCoastLexSteele). The guy that may not be the perfect match, but is a good guy and would make a good husband. This just didn’t seem like a good idea to me for a couple reasons…
Hit the Snooze Button
At 20+ years old do you really have to think about marriage? You’ve got more time to meet people and really see what it is you like and don’t like about the opposite sex. I don’t see the reasoning behind settling for a dude when you haven’t even dated that much. “But, Seattle there’s a lot of horrible guys out there.” I know, there are about as many of them as there are chicks I wouldn’t be with. Even though it’s a daunting prospect, it’s better to do it now than much later in life.
No One Wants to be That Guy
Two, and maybe I’m getting emo as I get older, but I feel bad for that dude. No one should be the last resort. “I couldn’t find anyone else that I really like and you’re cool, so let’s rock homie.” If I ever found out that was the reasoning behind some chick wanting to be with me, I’d pack up and be out after a serious tongue lashing. Not the good kind, the bad kind. Not to mention it’s selfish. Let that dude find someone that truly appreciates him and not someone that’s just there to be taken care of.
Gender Specific
Lastly, I know I talked to a lot of women about this, but do any dudes do this as well? Maybe they do and we just don’t talk about it. In my travels, I’ve just found more than often that women will settle more than dudes. Why is this? I know I don’t want to be that old dude in the club talking to young women. I want a wife and kid(s) too. But I just feel that I’m too young to settle for some girl who’s only giving me 60/40… want my 80/20 dammit.
Maybe it’s just me, I just don’t feel that one should settle at any age. It just seems like a recipe for disaster. Specifically for the only reason that someone can take care of you. Or good sex. More so the former than the latter. But, maybe there’s something I’m not getting. Ladies if you disagree, please enlighten me. And fellas, do you find yourself settling for lady because of your age? Let the discussions begin. Don’t worry, this is a safe place.
Article by Three Ways To Take It
Three Ways to Take It is an award-winning lifestyle blog that covers everything from celebrity tomfoolery, politics, and music to relationships, sex, and everyday life occurrences—all told from the perspective of three talented African American writers. Our purpose is to not only post content that will make you laugh or reflect on your own life but to also keep you intellectually stimulated. Each of the writers has his/her own distinct style that caters to the different demographics of our readership. Catch Seattle Washington, Sowhatiff Jenkins, and Slim Jackson at www.threewaystotakeit.com.
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{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }
Men settle too, although they may not view it as settling. I’ve heard the same stories of a guy getting married because of that Jagged Edge song mentality “We ain’t gettin no younger girl we might as well do it.” . The woman he was dating was there at the right moment in time when the marriage thought hit so he figured why not.
Most folks today seem to treat marriage like a contract. As long as the main condition(s) of the contract are being met, then the marriage works.
I had my starter marriage in my 20′s and I’m now divorced. I’m smarter now and try to keep myself focused as to my reasons for being with someone. I keep my ideal mate in mind and if someone isn’t fitting the image then its time to move on. Settling for me would stifle my personal growth and cause more damage to myself than good, so I’ll pass.