Comments on: Do You REALLY Want To Hear It?

By: G. Hylton

G. Hylton — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 20:53:42 +0000

@Camielle, You'd be surprised at how often this DOESN'T work...

By: Camielle

Camielle — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 15:28:50 +0000

Just speak ENGLISH!! I would have mad respect for a guy who was honest and just said: “I think you’re attractive, I like spending time with you, I wouldn’t mind sleeping with you on an occasional/semi-regular basis, but I absolutely do NOT want a relationship.” At that point, it’s on me to decide if I want to deal with that, and it’s my own fault if I let myself catch feelings. Everything needs to be crystal clear though…and enough with the “I’m not looking for a relationship, but if one happens, I won’t fight it.” That statement is unnecessary and I think a lot of women don’t hear the first part at all once the latter is said.

By: Sean Walton

Sean Walton — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 19:45:03 +0000

@Tiana, This is true too, lol. Guys can be confusing. Ultimately we want our cake and to be able to eat it too. So we may not want a committed relationship, but we may want you all to ourself. Its real confusing.

By: Sean Walton

Sean Walton — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 19:43:52 +0000

@Truth Merchants, right, lol.

By: Sean Walton

Sean Walton — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 19:43:26 +0000

@G. Hylton, "From what I’ve learned man, it doesn’t matter what you say. Women hear what they want to hear and believe what they want to believe." Never seen a more true statement.

By: G. Hylton

G. Hylton — Mon, 06 Jul 2009 23:55:00 +0000

In that case Tiana, you hit ol boy with a “pause” and “time-out.” Then you throw a penalty flag and say “offsides, contradictionin statements is leading to confusion. 15 yard penalty repeat 1st down.” Or in laymen’s terms, you tell the guy “look, you said you wanted it to be one way, now you acting the other way. You need to make a decision and stick with it.” People only do what you let them get away with. If he told you he didn’t want a girl, then you make him stick to that. When you’re the cut buddy, your anger has no validation. You’re free to do as you please in the same manner as he’s free to do as he pleases. Anything outside of that, needs extended discussion. Simple as that.

By: Tiana

Tiana — Mon, 06 Jul 2009 19:25:02 +0000

Well I totally agree with the men and women being upfront about what they want when dealing with the opposite sex. But wqhat drives me crazy is when the guy (in my case) says that he does not want a commited relationship but his actions don’t comply with the statement AT ALL. He wants 2 be wit the girl all thee time, spend all holidays 2gether, gets jealous when she speaks of other guys, behaves in everyway that a boyfriend or guy who is in a commited relationship should act. Now what is the girl suppose 2 think in this confusing situation….should she act in accordance to him SAYING he didn’t want to b in a commited relationship or should she let his ACTIONS speak louder than his words??

By: Truth Merchants

Truth Merchants — Mon, 06 Jul 2009 04:05:29 +0000

@G – I was looking for something to disagree with in your comment. Couldn’t find a damn thing!! lol…

By: G. Hylton

G. Hylton — Sun, 05 Jul 2009 02:11:43 +0000

From what I’ve learned man, it doesn’t matter what you say. Women hear what they want to hear and believe what they want to believe. If you tell a woman “I don’t want a relationship” and you kick it with her like a friend, hang out with her with no sex sometimes, and treat her nicely, she’s going to get confused and say “what are we doing?” Despite the fact you said “I don’t want a relationship.” She doesn’t care what you say.

If you tell a woman “I want a girlfriend” and you treat her like shit, she’s still going to end up liking you. In her mind, because you want a girl, she’s thinking that the way you’re treating her is not how you really feel since you said “I want a girlfriend” and she’s hoping it’s going to be her. She doesn’t care what you do.

The bottom line is, you can’t control what you’re labeled as. The best you can do is just tell her up front, let her make up her mind with what she wants to do, and then wear the Scarlet letter when she starts telling her friends you’re an asshole who doesn’t know a good woman when he sees one and is “afraid of commitment.” It’s just a ploy women use to deal with rejection, I wouldn’t sweat it at all. The only thing you can do is be honest. Everything after that, isn’t all that important.