I am not against private schools with dress codes, nor am I against dress codes in general. I feel like our students need to be focused in school, and it’s not necessarily a fashion show. Not to mention, most dress code parameters are designed to keep kids from exposing too much, which in theory will protect their innocence *hearty laugh*. Children get their things stolen all the time and as a far-off-in-the-distant future parent, I know I will not allow my kids to wear anything that is expensive that *I* paid for to school.
First thing, this is a time when young teenagers are beginning to learn how to express themselves and their own sense of who they are. They may chose to do this by buying every pair of Jordan’s, or the newest BCBG pumps, or even by buying the cheapest white sneaks they can find and decorating them with their own flavor. I think it’s awesome to see kids into self-expression and not wanting to always conform to what this or that magazine says is in. However, schools have gone from dress codes that are designed to encourage decency, to dress codes that discourage self-expression. This is where I have a problem, and as someone who is very maternal, it pisses me off.
Let me give you a few examples. A friend of mine online tweeted that her cousin was kicked out of a private school for wearing his hair in twists. Why you ask? Their code doesn’t allow braids or designer braids. They classify twists as designer braids. Say it with me: “WHAT!?” You mean to tell me you will interrupt this boy’s education over a hairstyle!? And not even one that is disruptive or extremely attention seeking i.e. purple hair in a spiked mohawk. Even then I say it’s just hair, and that kid can sit in the back if you can’t see over it. What really infuriates me is that this *almost* seems like it is targeted to black children. I’m not trying to play “the card” but follow me here. Braiding is a very common tradition in our culture’s hair care and it is a protective hairstyle that is done for both aesthetics as well as for healthy growth practices. Twisting is often the way to begin the growth of dreadlocks which I am sure this school would grasp their hearts and just die if a student were to begin growing dreadlocs. I’d be curious to see if they would kick a non-black student out for wearing her hair in pigtail braids. But why are braids so bad to begin with? What exactly are “designer” braids. I asked for a follow up on the situation, and my friend said that since the handbook doesn’t specifically state their rules on hair, the child could return to school until the board votes in May. So someone made a harsh decision that isn’t even stated in the student handbook. How was the child supposed to know? Even though I would completely disagree with any such rules, I feel the school would have had a stronger case if those rules were known ahead of time. If my child were attending such a school with those kinds of strict rules that we were aware of, I would petition the school well ahead of time to take a good hard look at the reasoning behind them, and see what kind of fair adjustments could be made. I will do that with anything I come across as inappropriate concerning my children’s educational institutions.
Another example is with a member of my family. My younger cousin goes to the same high school that I went to. He was sent home on 3 days of detention for wearing jeans with a logo on the back. He and the other students (who out of the 76 that were sent home, only 3 were not black) were all told that they could no longer wear designer jeans, but that they had to come from Target or Wal-Mart. I was the one who picked him up and while I was there I took the time to talk to some of the administrators. My cousin’s jeans had a very tiny logo on the back pocket. Other children’s “offenses” were much larger. I asked if they thought it was appropriate to take these students out of their educational environment for so long over such a simple offense They said that it was because these children needed to take it seriously. Again I asked what was the purpose of this? I saw students walking the halls wearing Tommy Hilfiger Polos (yes, they are still worn). Target sells jeans with logos on them, and I’m sure Wal-Mart even has clothing with logos. What were they really trying to say? And what if the jeans were high-end without a logo yet were noticeable by their style or cut? What was the point? They had no clear answers and I pushed the parents that I saw to go to school board meetings and get involved, and know what kind of environment their children are in.
To me, this is ridiculous. A kid can’t wear his/her hair in twists? Can’t wear anything with a logo? If the rule said “no sagging” I would have understood them wanting to take action. Yet still 3 days of suspension is harsh, and I think it’s another way to make sure our children go uneducated. Are these rules targeting our young black youth or am I just reaching? I could be. But it just seemed like the overwhelming majority of those being punished were black, and it broke my heart to know that for the next 3 days they would be missing out on “valuable” education all because of a pair of jeans. I say “valuable” because I have thoughts on how valuable said education really is, but I’ll go over that in Part 2. Private schools are different than public schools I know, but I just can’t get over how these people are trying to use their control to control our children. Parents, stay involved!
So what say the masses?
Article by Jennifer Garrett
JG* is a small-town turned big-city blogger who once wrote the random yet ever-creative look into the life of a girl entering the Quarterlife. These days as she prepares for her MBA program at The Ohio State University she's turned into quite the "Susie The Riveter." Working with teens by day, cooking delicious meals at night. Check out her blog showcasing her delicious recipes at http://jgrunsthekitchen.wordpress.com. Follower her on Twitter @JGRunsTheCity
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{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
good point. “other” folks need to learn more about our “culture” or what not and learn how we wear our hair. Its not fair of them to continously push their standards of how we should look on us. Shoot we can be worse. I still have friends who think natural hair is “ugly”
I used to bomb on silly notions like these when I was in school. Luckily I was aware enough to challenge before my mother even had to get involved…of course that was public school. I think that people are just often clueless to some of the natural differences in cultures…I mean look at how amazed some white people are by black hair. Then add to that differences in age and the whole thing goes overboard fast.
Your conscious instinct is correct, these private schools are targeting black youth in an attempt to make them conform to the style standards(which is just one of many Eurocentric standards that private schools convert our black teenagers) of the dominate culture(whites). Though I do value private school education over that of which is available in the public schools, I’m still fully aware that rather our kids are in public or private school settings the standards of which they are taught are still created by whites. So on one end it disappoints me to see that this type of prejudice exist and on the other end I am not suprised at all. What do we expect? Thats the question? Whites have never went out of their way to educate our children, so why do we get upset when they create every rule possible to discourage our children from educating theirselve’s on the same level as white children? We know that without these rules our children would have an equal playing field and we all know how whites are in regards to equal playing fields(they don’t exist), so any advantage they can create for their children, you better believe that they will do it. Solution: WE HAVE TO EDUCATE OUR OWN CHILDREN…PERIOD. We keep leaving the educating of our children in the hands of the opressor then you will get oppressive actions. But I know the majority of blacks in this country still believe in this “we shall come together cramp”, me, I’m sick of it. I’m not going to keep asking people who do not like me, do not want me, and are against anything progressive for me to help me do anything…we can’t expect them to educate us, we can’t wait for them to tell our children where/how they can express themselves, we can’t keep expecting them to do anything…if we send our children, our family, our anything to the dominate culture for assistance in anything that will furthur us, expect setbacks…been going on for 500 years and couting…
@d.oxner, Man…. this is exactly what I’m saying. I completely plan on teaching my kids MY way…
This is similar to the Hampton Univ. business school that was telling their students that they could not have their hair in a non-business like fashion. Or the NBA and the dress code for its players.
I went to Hampton for undergrad and that was one thing that really upset me. How are you going to tell me that my neat and gorgeous dreads are not ‘business appropriate’ and ‘leave me a target for stereotypes’ while there are others with the most raggedy hair looking like who shot John and why?? Yet me and other natural people (both guys for their dreads and girls for their twist outs) are looked down upon and literally told to our faces that we wouldn’t make it far in the business world. And this is a HBCU that is encouraging this. I graduated a few years ago and I hope they have progressed from that old-school way of thought. Anyways, wonderful post and this is definitely something that needs to be addressed!!