Who Is On Your Team?

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We all know, as men, that when it comes to managing our *women the easiest way to view the situation is to apply it to what we know best….sports. For me, I use basketball as an analogy for the management of my female agenda. With that being said, I feel that many men are not following or know the proper guidelines for such a tactical feat, so I am writing this to talk about some of the inner workings of this complex system.

Now let me say, I can’t write addressing all of the strategies, rules, etc. of this game, but what I plan to do is establish the roles in the game and guidelines that you must remember before you coach…because men…we are Coaches. I would need a **book to establish everything that you need to know about the game. The most important thing is that there are many different ways to coach so not everything works for you but there are specific features of each team that control your coaching ability. Thus I ask you, who is on your team?

First things first, you have to know your role and everyone else’s on the team. The main members of the team for the MSLA are: Owner, General Manager, Coach, and Players. I mainly am writing this because many men don’t know who they are on the team. Most of ya’ll think there is just a coach and players and that you are the owner, general manager, crowd, and everything else. Wrong! The game is not that simple and your control is limited. By not understanding this, often times you will not be a successful team.

Let us start from the top, the Owner. You…I repeat…You are NOT the owner of your team. What does the owner do? The owner controls the team, pays everyone, sets the location of the team, sets the team name, sets the team color and mascot, picks what league you play in and your conference, etc. You can’t control your name, how your face looks, what females come within contact of you, how your D game is, what other competing teams are around you, etc. So the owner of your team is FATE. God’s plan, fate, luck, whatever you want to call it,  is the majority owner of the team. Now keep in mind, fate plays a major part in results of your team but it doesn’t coach and it doesn’t play. So don’t piss a fit cause you’re not the owner, the owner puts all the roles together but it’s up to the rest of the team to win.

The General Manager and Coach are the two most arguable positions on the team. Let’s first clear up the difference between the two. The General Manager is the person who fires/signs players, recruits, manages payment of players, and plays a large role in putting together the players on a team. The Coach is the most important key in the team mix and has the most responsibility for the team’s performance. The Coach manages the roster, draws the plays, recruits players, and overall controls the team atmosphere and image. Notice that both positions recruit and both positions play a role in putting players together. The GM leans more towards the logistics of acquiring of players, while the Coach leans more on the picking of players. They both work closely together, but they are different none the less. With all that said, fellas we are the Coach. We run the game, call the time outs, make the subs, pitch to the players to come play on our team, and we show interest when players are available. The GM is the one that has to adjust the contracts, deal with Players, deal with agents (will discuss later), make the final offers, work out trades, etc. The GM is not just one person for this reason, it’s the combination of You, the *Woman, and Fate. Fate brings the woman into contact with you, you have to do the sales pitch, and the *woman has to “choose.” The most important thing to take from this note is this: You can’t necessarily put any woman you want on your team nor can you just get rid of her. It’s not that simple, other things play into it. What you CAN do is recruit, decide what position they will play, control their playing time, and manage their personalities.

There are other factors to the acquiring of Players that aren’t in our control. Think about it, say you want a woman off your team. You can’t just kick her off, you don’t have that power. Cause as much as you say she is off your team, she can call you at any time and say “let me suck yo…” and she gets put back in. All you can do is sit her on the far end of the bench and hope the three headed monster of a GM handles getting rid of her. And no matter how tight your sales pitch is and how good your team is, if the salary cap isn’t right or you have too many players then she can’t play on your team (unless you trick them into playing for less). So with that in mind, you are strictly the coach but you play a part in all assets of the team. Another thing to remember is that since you are not an owner you can be fired from your team or choose to leave your team and coach for another team (loosing 100 lbs, joining a fraternity or joining an athletic program, etc.)

Last but certainly not least, the Players. Of course women are the Players but I want to go deeper into it. You see, just like in basketball, the Players are the engine that makes the team go and engines are NOT simple. Each Player has a certain position, they have Agents, they have attitudes, they have skills, etc. Now an Agent is the person that plays the mediator between the team and the player when it comes to the contract. They too play a huge role in acquiring a player but they aren’t on the team so that’s why I didn’t list them. The agents are a combination of the women and her girlfriends/family/line sisters (lol). Some players represent themselves, some let their agent do all the talking, but either way it plays into the reason why you are only the coach and why you have to deal with them along as with the Player. Even when they are on the team, the agents/girl friends/line sisters (lol ok I’ll stop) can be in the ear of the Player and affect relations. Just another reason why the Players ability to leave/join the team is not all up to you. The MSLA has been working long hours to come up with solutions for these agents, but that’s a whole other subject.

As a Coach, you have to put together a team of players that not only fit your style of play but also match the direction you are trying to take the organization in. You can’t win with all point guards and you can’t have a run-n-gun team with slow players. Before you pick your players, make sure you know what positions you need and how you are going to play your game. Decide if you want to have really good offense with decent defense or if you want to be physical natured team (I personally prefer a defensive minded team that can run, let that marinate). Then decide if you want to go after average role players or if you want the big contract players, either way it’s up to the entire team if you can get what you want. You have to work with the GM and the Owner to get what you want. The more you understand your role on the team and the other members, the better you can manage your roster and your win percentage.

Who is on Your Team Fellas? And How do you manage your game?

Rookie Coach of the Year 07/08,
Stanley aka Standingo aka Todos Los Dias, etc.

Article by Stanley

StanDingo a.k.a. Todos Los Dias is a 2nd Year Senior in Electrical Engineering Major at the University of Tennessee: Knoxville. He is not a writer, journalist,or a prophet...He is just a man with a different view on the world. "Find out what everyone else is doing, then go do the opposite. You never want to be like everyone else" - My Father

Stanley has written 2 article(s) for us.