Bey’s Back!

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It’s not like she ever went anywhere, but you know, she was chillin for about 5 minutes, so to have a new video from her it’s like Christmas came early. I heard all the “Twitter” that Beyonce and Lady Gaga did a remix to Video Phone but I didn’t ever seek to hear it because I honestly just didn’t care. Lady Gaga, while EXTREMELY talented, scares me and reminds me of the monster I always knew was under my bed. Imagine that, I’m 25 and she finally decides to show herself. Lady Gaga is like Paranomal Activity and True Blood in real life. iDigress.

Here is the video.

Now you guys KNOW that I LOVE Beyonce and would NEVER say an ill thing about her… ever. While my application to Beyonce Standom got lost in the mail, I am still being closely monitored by the Black Gay Male Illuminati. So at the end of this post I will do my repentance Single Ladies montage complete with yelling “NOW WHERE. MAH. RING.?” (© VMA’s) in the mirror at least 20 times.

On to the video. I mean when it comes to Bey recently I’ve just been left confused. As I’ve previously blogged about, her last 4 Sasha Fierce videos (well it was 3 at the time) looked damn near the same with a few little tweaks here and there. I honestly got to the point where outside of Single Ladies I didn’t know which video was what and went where. It seems Bey has a bit of a thing for the number 3, black and white, and evil twins whether they be her breast or two strong looking women.

Here in her latest installment Giselle gives us a bit more. A lot more actually. First let’s start with what hasn’t changed.

Things Bey’s producers can’t let go of:

• Her being half naked. This time in the beginning, her onesie has the sides cut out. So It looks like Bey had to actually get in the gym for real for this one. No corsets baby.
• Ahh #basic jerky dance moves. (More on this later)
• The number 3. Once again we’re faced with watching Bey and backups. Except this time they are men. (Scholars maintain that they were ALWAYS men)
• Lack of pants. Seriously, I pray that Jesus protect Beyonce from a yeast infection. That is all.
• Boobs… I feel like Bey’s boobs were just all over the place in this one. Not quite like Ego but all in the place nonetheless. It’s funny because she’s still a member of the IBTC, but somehow her breast got more people and I now believe them. She should be a spokeswoman for the mammogram testing debates.

Next we can go on to what has changed.

New things Bey’s producers decided to give us:

• Color. Like real color this time.
• The real Beyonce. The Houston in her really came out. I mean when I first heard the song (love it) I heard it when she said “Shawty whacho’ name is” but I mean watching her say it took it to another level. I swear the re-recorded just for that. Straight up this was not Beyonce in the video. This was her original self, Bianca. Straight up hood.
• Knowledge of Bey’s stripper abilities. We get it. I had to ask my friend, “Who exactly is this video for?” Because I love Bey and now I’m going to get in the gym, but seriously. I think this is for all the men that love Jay-Z but hate on him and therefore wish to fantasize about his wife. She kinda put down the jerk (no new boyz) and picked up the pole. Seriously, I’ve seen those same moves in Strokers, Magic City…wait… I don’t go to strip clubs. So ummm….scratch that.
• Beyonce twinnage. Instead of bringing back the evil twins (she must have a rule only allowing a set number of others on the set with her.) Bey decided to just reproduce herself over the green screen. Interesting.
• Lady Gaga. This was kind of embarrassing for me because this was the first time I ever heard her contribution. I just didn’t see where she fit. Again, she’s an amazing singer and it was nice to see her not looking like Leatherface and wearing a mask of previous Pop Diva’s skin. However, what was she talking about? Which beat was she singing to? Why would they put her in the same outfit as Bey, next to her, knowing that Bey’s ass would eat her alive? Lady Gaga just disappeared in the abyss that is Beyonce’s shadow. Back there she found Kelly, Michelle, Lil Mama, Latoya, and that other chick. No Hubba Hubba. Their dance sequence had me all kinds of befuddled.

Other than that I think Beyonce once again showed what we already knew. She’s extremely hot, and her weave can take on several forms. She’s extremely hood and Jay-Z has probably installed a pole in every room in the house. #notmadathimplaya. LOL

I think I’m the only one that had something completely different in mind for a video concept for this song. But then again, I’m sure guns, random space men, and 80’s hip hop clothing all have something to do with being recorded on a video phone. Except….there wasn’t a phone at any point in the video. #kanyeshrug #notaylorswift.

Any thoughts from the masses?

Originally Posted Here

Tagged as: Beyonce, Jay-Z, Lady Gaga, Video Phone

Article by Jennifer Garrett

JG* is a small-town turned big-city blogger who once wrote the random yet ever-creative look into the life of a girl entering the Quarterlife. These days as she prepares for her MBA program at The Ohio State University she's turned into quite the "Susie The Riveter." Working with teens by day, cooking delicious meals at night. Check out her blog showcasing her delicious recipes at http://jgrunsthekitchen.wordpress.com. Follower her on Twitter @JGRunsTheCity

Jennifer has written 49 article(s) for us.