Rance Rob Your Favorite CEO: N*gga I’m Lettin’ Go!

Spread it!

Share

Email This

This is Rance Rob your Favorite CEO and N*gga I can’t do this anymore. I have to let you go…completely. I’m sure anybody reading this is wondering what the heaven I’m talking about. This title, this lead in, what is it all about? Is this another long dissertation on why black people have to stop using the “N: word? I can honestly tell you no. My philosophy is that there is no point to try to tell Black America to bury a word like NIGGER. What for? You love the word. I use to love it too. I don’t know what is best for “Black America” because people are going to do what they want to do. All I know is NIGGA I gotta let you go.

We Came Up Together

I grew up in Memphis, TN for the first eight years of my life and I never really heard you much. Maybe I was oblivious to you. I

Nigga is a way bigger brand than NIKE! How fitting

understood you and I knew who you were and what you represented to people that look like me. The year that I was born had only marked 13 years since Martin Luther King Jr. was murdered in my city. From what my mom told me when I was about six years old, he was killed because ignorant men liked to use you against us. I guess Dr. King was trying to root you out and give men that look like me the respect that they deserved.

I didn’t listen to a lot of rap when I was in Memphis. It wasn’t as popular yet. Besides, my parents listened to gospel mostly. My dad was into Soul Music and it seemed that folks like Marvin Gaye and Teddy Pendergrass were more interested in singing against you and not adding you to the music. They were singing about equality and love. You weren’t able to be an ally anywhere in their lyrics. So you weren’t at the forefront of my mind. I knew who the gangsters were and the big timers were also but they didn’t seem to hang with you like that. I guess that was just the way of the south in the early 80’s. The pain you caused was too much I guess. Besides, when I was eight my favorite artists were Michael Jackson, New Edition, LL Cool J, and The Fat Boys. You weren’t where I kicked it.

Nigga Up North!

In 1989 I moved from the southern comforts of Memphis, TN to the icy north of Michigan and you were there in full effect. I thought that you hung out in the south but my cousin Cedric hipped me to you. We were watching this guy named Eazy E on The Box. Eazy was a star and I immediately thought he was the coolest man on the planet. He had this song called “We Want Eazy” and I asked my big cousin who Eazy E was and he looked at me like I was smoking that Frankie and Neffie (crack). He said Eazy was from the group N.W.A. As a bright eyed nine year old at this point I asked what that was and he said Niggas Wit Attitudes.
I was confused because I had watched Roots for the first time a few months prior and I was under the impression that it wasn’t cool to use you. But I eventually learned through conditioning that you were cool. You were okay to use. It was still wrong for white people to use you but you were my Nigga. In the eight years of growing up in the south, my first instance of knowing you in a Jim Crow sort of way came in Michigan, not Memphis, Michigan (the place where slaves ran to be free). A white kid decided to call me you in 4th Grade. I had never been angry at being identified with you of you except for the emotions invoked by Alex Haley’s masterpiece. The boy had a chronic ear infection and all I remember is connecting a hard left hook in that ear and after my 1-day suspension him wearing bandages on that ear for a long time after.

This Wasn’t No Ordinary Nigga

See, you and I became closer after I was 10 and we started hanging out in the same circles. The Geto Boys’ classic “My Mind’s Playin’ Tricks On Me” had me calling you out gleefully. I mean, who can forget Bushwick Bill’s line “He was goin’ down we figured/ but this wasn’t no ordinary nigga!?” The more I watched ComicView and Def Comedy Jam the cooler you and I became. I adopted you so that I even used you on my friends and family. I mean I’m only what 11 years old at this point and we were kicking grown man game together. I’m saying you, so are all of my friends, and all I know is that there wasn’t a nigga like you my nigga.

In 1994 I met these characters that I became a huge fan of called Bone Thugs N’ Harmony. One particular member of the group used you way more than I did. His name is Krayzie Bone. Someone told me he made the Guinness Book for mentioning you the most in music. I never checked on that but nonetheless you were winning tons of awards. The popular music of my youth was all about you and I was too. I mean who didn’t feel validated being down with you.

Nigga What NOW?

It seems to me that no matter how old I got with every birthday you grew with me. Every album and every blackbuster me and you got tighter and tighter. The times I called you out in vain in heated arguments and fistfights were countless. You were my people man. You remember all of the times we played basketball together; especially when my team would run the table and we’d call out the ever so faithful “NIGGA WHAT NOW!!!” That got shouted in spades, dice, whatever. Even when using you started to play out a little bit, Snoop D-O-Double-G softened you up and made you a bit comical when he called you his “Nizzle” do you remember that? I’ve watched your popularity blow and I was one of your biggest marketers.

One of the last jokes I told my dad before he died was centered around you. My dad laughed and laughed. Actually that was the first time I had mentioned you so candidly in his presence. You and I have been through so much together. Remember in 1997 how hard we used to sing Biggie’s “Niggas Bleed” together. The more I listened the more “nothing to lose had me holding my gun tool and everything to gain embedded in my brain.” Wow man, we’ve been a lot of places and seen a lot of things.

Me, N, God

Remember in July 2004 when we started building a relationship with Jesus? Still it was me and you. I gave up all of the expletives. You know the “curse” words. But you aren’t a curse word I convinced myself. But something started changing. I read a scripture that said “Life and Death are in the power of the tongue” and then “…by our speech we can ruin the world, turn harmony to chaos, throw mud on a reputation, send the whole world up in smoke and go up in smoke with it. You can tame a tiger but can’t tame a tongue. It’s never been done.” It was then that it dawned on me that words shape destiny. Ceily cursed Mister with words. He was jacked up after that. Has anyone ever called you stupid or ugly? It knocked you down or made you angry because words are powerful.

After reading that, our relationship started to feel different. When I was in the mall back in 2007 I heard a group of 12 somethings shouting you out so freely in the presence of adults and senior citizens. I was bothered by it. It wasn’t the appalled looks of the Caucasians that got me but the pain in the eyes of the African American senior citizens that made my air stop. This particular couple, you could tell had experienced the horrors of your terrorism back in their day. Needless to say I started to think about our relationship a bit deeper.

The Last Straw

I think that I really wanted to let you go 2 years ago when I found myself so mad at my child that I introduced the two of you. I had to go back and apologize and explain that although you and I kicked it for years and years that me saying it in that context was just wrong. It had nothing to do with the NAACP and its moratorium on the word. It had nothing to do with the Michael Richards meltdown. It nothing to do with Dick Gregory’s awesome book that educated me about you (I read it in 2002, I used your more.)

The real truth is that I started learning more about those aforementioned scriptures and that every time I mentioned you I was essentially cursing myself. I realized that I almost cursed my own child. You see, no matter how I tried to justify your existence in my life I was being brutally abused by you. Every negative thought that was associated with you during the days of slavery and Jim Crow still fit the bill. Even though rap music and hip-hop culture turned you from “Nigger” to Nigga” and you became the 2.0 version for my generation, the initial software makeup was still the same. You were made to degrade me and make me feel that I was less of a person. You were defined to define me and cause me to destruct my destiny. The trick was that if you got in good with me that I’d use you so much on myself that no one else would need to curse me with you. I was doing a good job myself.

The Breakup

In the beginning of 2009 I left the group. The duo is over. I’ve got you about 96% out of my system. I find myself having talks of a reunion tour with you every now and then but I remember that I can’t work with you. I don’t care about why Black America shouldn’t be down with you. That’s all there for a matter to debate; to give the relevantly irrelevant “Black” leaders of our time a forum to exercise their ideals. I don’t need that. Even the great YouTube video of the little boy’s speech on the word wouldn’t have swayed me. President Obama winning the election wasn’t good enough for me.

All I know is that since I’ve stopped hanging out with you I look at myself differently. Since I no longer identify myself as nigga I also look at my fellow black people as more than niggas. Not only do I think differently about me, I see beyond my limitations. I just wish every nigga out there could see how they are no different than a cutter (self-mutilator) and stop the self infliction you cause. But what can I say? You have always been a cool NIGGA. But as for Rance Rob…NIGGA, I HAVE LET YOU GO.

This feature was written by Rance Rob Your Favorite CEO. Rance Rob is a contributor to The Fresh Xpress and also FXP’s biggest fan. The only goal he has with writing is to leave his heart and soul on the screen with every keystroke. Check him out on Twitter: @theUMF or at www.ultimatemoneyfight.com.

Article by Rance Rob

I am the CEO of a Social Interest company called Ultimate Money Fight where "Savings Accounts Come to Battle!" My company gets people excited and going crazy about saving money because it's a competitive setup. Every month my Inc. gives away $250 to the Top Saver so that they can build on their Emergency Savings Fund.I learned the hard way that Finance is HARD. Even though the concept of money is really simple to be in a good financial position, most people SUCK at it. So I am developing a WORLD full of Money Fighters. People that take what they make now and turn it into wealth. Everyday at UMF someone is Kickin' Cash and Takin' names!!!Check out the website www.ultimatemoneyfight.com for more blog posts and information about getting your money right.

Rance has written 11 article(s) for us.