In the last month or so, I have noticed some comments on different posts that have referenced women with male friends. It seems that this a hot button issue amongst our good readers here at Three Ways, so I’m bringing it to yall live and direct.
Just to put things in context, here are some of the comments:
From Men:
“Females with NO friends is not where its at. Social skills [are] a must…”
“As a man, I also take issue with females using the “hating” issue to make excuses and comments like, “This is why I don’t get along with females, get along better with men, etc.” That’s some bull. And it’s a turnoff to men when we hear this from y’all.”
“You don’t get along with females b/c you have a bad attitude and men are more reasonable.”
From Women:
“I’ve never been one to think it was cool to broadcast that you, as a female, can’t keep female friends.”
“I mean, there is a difference if you grew up in a household full of dudes (brothers, cousins, etc.) and you are more familiar with a certain lifestyle…but who walks around proclaiming [that you don't get along with women]? You’re not cool.”
“I never understand girls who don’t get along well with other females and even want to bash females for simply being females and doing feminine stuff. Just embrace yourself. If you’re a woman who can’t stand females and female actions, then there’s something about yourself that you’re just not comfortable with…correct that!”
As a woman with strong friendships with men and women, I know that there are very distinct things that I appreciate about both. However, that doesn’t mean I value one over the other. For example, when I want to complain about my cramps or talk about my experience with Mr. Give D. Goodness, I can’t talk go to my man-friend about that. He’s gonna look at me crazy and walk out of the room. When it comes to matters of the heart, back when I had those, I can go to both my man and woman-friends about it. It just depends on what I want to hear. Women sometimes offer judgment advice that isn’t always warranted or welcome. But men sometimes can’t co-sign how I feel, so I just get **cricket chirp chirp** on the other end. From men, I get the male perspective I couldn’t understand on my own; from women, I get the comfort of knowing that its not just me, and the some ideas about how I can move forward. Either way, I know that both have my best interest at heart.
Is there something wrong with a woman not having any close friendships with other women?
Sometimes, there is an assumption that a woman who values friendships with men does not value relationships with woman. And this may be the case with some women. “I don’t get along with females like that.” “Nah, I don’t have any female friends.” o_O. Granted, this could be due to a number of reasons. But at the end of the day, would we not look at a man side-ways who had no male friends? Yes boo-boo, you need to have other women in your life. I get that there are things that may not always be desirable about women at all times, but guess what? You probably express those same traits at some point or another. Get over yourself. With that said, if I’m not in the mood to talk about men or relationships or gossip or whatever else we women love to talk about, I may not call Keisha up to chill tonight. I may call up Seattle or Slim instead. Does that mean I value my friendship with Keisha any less? Of course not.
Those are just my few cents on the topic. It seems like people see the woman who shuns women as friends as hating or denyng parts of who she is. Do you agree? Do you have close friendships with men and women? What do you think about women who can’t keep other women in their friendship circle? Women, would you be less likely to warm up to her? Fellas, is she less wife-able? Why? Share your perspective.
I love you girl, but I’m going to watch the game at his house cuz you ask too many questions,
Article by Three Ways To Take It
Three Ways to Take It is an award-winning lifestyle blog that covers everything from celebrity tomfoolery, politics, and music to relationships, sex, and everyday life occurrences—all told from the perspective of three talented African American writers. Our purpose is to not only post content that will make you laugh or reflect on your own life but to also keep you intellectually stimulated. Each of the writers has his/her own distinct style that caters to the different demographics of our readership. Catch Seattle Washington, Sowhatiff Jenkins, and Slim Jackson at www.threewaystotakeit.com.
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{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }
I don’t have men or women in my “circle”. I know both and I socialize with both every once in a blue moon, but that is all. I’m not on the phone with females on a daily basis nor am I on the phone with men on a daily basis. I guess I’m an island, but that does not make me more or less normal. So I disagree with the entire post. Some people just don’t want to be bothered with people..you can’t put them into a category because they’re not like you. The authors of these posts are totally biased and one sided in everything they publish. That is all.