Dear Gilbert Arenas

In recent days it’s become apparent that you consider yourself to be, not just a gunman, but a bit a funny man as well. You’ve gone on several serial Twitter rants in an attempt to diffuse the drama you’ve drummed up for yourself.

You’ve said that you’re using it as a coping mechanism of sorts. The thing is, you’re not funny. In your joking around, you’ve failed to realize that you are the joke to most people. In fact, you make Martellus Bennett, the platinum medal winner and creator of the Hood Olympics, seem as though he’s on par with Chris Rock.

Gunner Gilbert…shooting. 

See, most humorous people — save Katt Williams — have common sense, enough of it to know not to conjure up a joke that involves guns, your job and colleagues you allegedly are arguing with concerning debts you owe. No, they make fun of people like you who lack the sense to know that joking with guns on the job, even if you’re a cop, is just stupid.

Hell, bringing your guns — unloaded or not — to your job doesn’t make much sense at all. Saying that it was a bad joke is an understatement. And continuing to attempt to humor people after that mistake is, well, a mistake.

This is why I have a small piece of advice for you, Gunner:  stop tweeting out the side of your hip and keep shooting… basketballs. Stick to what you do best.

There was a moment there where people considered you to be one of the best players in the NBA and you’re still good. But you’re not what you once were. And you really should consider doing something else — like working on your defense — other than tweeting your sorrows away before you get yourself in more trouble than you’re already in now.

If you want to do something cathartic, do something in the privacy of your own space, in a way that won’t draw more attention to you that you’ve already drawn. Maybe you should open up your draw full of DVDs and watch a few stand-up comedians at work.

And while you’re watching, take notice of how you don’t see any firearms on the stage and just how unnecessary they are to tell jokes. You can learn from there. Simple enough, huh?

Keep gunning until David Stern suspends you,

Damon