How I Finally Found Faith: Part 3

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In part 1 and part 2, I talked about growing up in a church, growing apart from it, and some of the struggles I faced along the way. In this final part of the series, I want to talk about when things finally started to make sense. I also want to provide some advice based on my experiences for those looking to find and/or strengthen their relationship with God, as well as those trying to bring people into “the church” with a failure rate of 100%. Now that I’ve been on both sides, I definitely have some clarity. I’ll begin with how I finally found faith.

After a few years of being out the mix and searching for answers, I finally came across something that made sense a few months ago. One of my boys hit me up on the casual and asked what I was doing in terms of my relationship with God. He had been going to a church for about 6 months at the point that he reached out to me. Since he was the only one in the crew that had even talked about his faith and what it meant to him, I felt compelled to listen. He asked me to set aside some time to go over a Bible study. I warned him up front not to expect a miracle conversion for me, but that I’d be open to going through it since I was looking to strengthen my relationship with God. Some people have asked what was it in particular that made me open to listening to him as opposed to the countless others who tried and failed? It’s pretty simple. He just acknowledged where I was at this point in my life, told me how much he had learned, and asked me to pick up a Bible from a book store. We set up a time to do a Bible study shortly thereafter and I was eager to hear what he had to say. No magic stories, gimmicks, or music were used to interest me.

After going through one study with him, I was in awe. Everything we went over made complete sense for the first time in my life. His messages to me weren’t filled with opinions and thoughts on what he considered to be the right thing. There were no lengthy anecdotes or monologues that had nothing to do with the Bible. He didn’t tell me about how his church had great music or anything else superfluous or extra. We talked specifically about the Bible and he let me draw my own conclusions without trying to add in his 2 cents. We covered some powerful verses and he asked me for my thoughts. After a few weeks, I was thoroughly invested in the teachings and continuously seeking out more information.

When my friend came to the east coast from California, he asked if I wanted to go to church with him and of course I obliged given my level of interest in the teachings he covered with me. And even though things were a little bit awkward when I attended the first service I had attended in what seemed like years, I found myself finally feeling like I was at the right place. No longer was I asking uncomfortable questions or trying to understand what the people on each side of me were doing. I was actually learning something. I felt as if I was developing a relationship with God and an understanding of the Bible. One thing that really excited me was the usage of the Good Book during service. That may sound fundamental. But in the times I had been to church previously, the Bible would only come out for a couple of verses and then be put away for the duration of the service. In my church now, it’s used throughout the service and of course during studies afterwards. I am quickly learning not only about God and how to strengthen my relationship with Him, but also about the things that kept me away from church for so long and what’s really important in my life.

Didn’t think this would ever be me, but I’m glad that it is.

Since starting the studies with my friend, I’ve been to church every week unless I had something else going on that was truly pressing. I’ve started taking time out of week to go to Bible study and services that I never thought I’d attend. Nobody needs to hold my hand to make me go or call me and ask my whereabouts. I make a conscious and committed decision each and every week to attend, learn and internalize as much information as I can.

Now I say all of this not to say that everybody should go to church or that mine is better, because that’s not what the series is about. I say this because I know there are a lot of people out there that have struggled with their faith for a multitude of reasons. I don’t expect people to run out into the streets screaming for and seeking God, but I would hope that folks understand there’s a certain level of patience and trust involved when you’re developing your faith system. You need to understand what you’re seeking and why. I’m a very logical and knowledge-driven individual that needs evidence to support anything I’ll believe in. Fortunately, my friend’s church fulfilled this critical need. Not only did I trust my source in developing my beliefs, but I also quickly got answers to questions that I’ve been asking myself for years.

The Most Important Part of This Series! (If anything, read everything below)

I want to provide a bit of advice to those who are seeking a relationship with God and those that are trying to get others into a church. I know people on both sides of the fence go through a certain level of frustration with this. I’ll break this down into 2 parts:

For those seeking a relationship with God/faith in a higher being:

I know that it can be a tough and/or frustrating process. There are so many people out there telling you different things, and there are so many people who try to “preach” to you but appear to be leading immoral lifestyles that contradict what they’re trying to “preach” about. I know that it can be tough to sit and listen to people have God conversations while you’re feeling left out because you haven’t found that relationship yet. I know that it can be frustrating to go to a church and be surrounded by people going nuts over the music and the sermon, yet you feel as if you aren’t learning anything and that the people around you are actually hypocrites, actors, and actresses. I know that it can be extremely difficult to have faith in God or strive to have a relationship with a higher being when you’ve had some tragedy in your life or witnessed tragedy in the life of a loved one that you don’t think you or the loved one deserved.

What you need to understand is that your search for a relationship with God is exactly that—your search. Though challenging, you need to stop focusing on what other people are doing and focus on yourself. You have to block the hypocrites, actors, and actresses from your mind. You have to find out what it is that you are truly trying to accomplish in terms of developing your spirituality, and then put a plan in place to make it happen. You need to understand what your barriers are and what will drive you to accomplish this goal. If any of your barriers involve other people in church, you need to first and foremost remember that their relationship with God is not your relationship with God.

When you’re focused on finding God, He’s focused on you and not who the person next to you has slept with or cheated on. Finding God may take years for some of you. I know it did for me. But whatever you do, don’t lose hope and don’t let others determine where you end up. Hypocrites are everywhere. As for those still searching for answers to life’s tragedies, all I can say is that you have to try to look to the future and what you can control, versus what’s already happened in the past. Easier said that done. But hey, I never said this would be easy.

For Those Trying to Get People to Go to Church:

I know that a lot of people already in the church want people to feel what they feel and share in their experiences, but you can’t make someone go to church. It needs to be their decision. I actually wrote a post a while ago on relationship deal breakers and a lot of people, particularly women, said they needed a significant other that was God-fearing and would be sitting in church next to them. I think this is a critical breakdown in why people don’t go to church. For those that need or want someone to be in church with them, you are concerned about the wrong things. If people spent more time trying to understand the backgrounds of one another and why they feel the way they do as opposed to trying to convince them of why they need to be at church, a lot more people would willingly go. If someone says they don’t believe in a God or don’t believe in church, it’s more important to understand how they developed that belief. Who knows what happened in their life? A lot of church people want to know if someone knows God without them knowing anything about the person other than what’s on the surface. It’s a shame.

Sitting someone down and telling them why God is great and what He has done for you can be just as big a turn off to someone who is frustrated in their search. Once again, you need to understand their motivations and underlying reasons for their search or lack thereof. It’s not about you. It’s about understanding and not pitying them. There’s no point in “preaching” to someone who isn’t moved by religious banter. And lastly, I think many of us could stand to reevaluate the reasons that we go to Church. If you’re not going for the right reasons, then how are you going to convince someone else to come along with you? What are the right reasons you ask? Only you know the answer to that.

This concludes the faith series. I hope people have enjoyed and appreciated this for what it is. I understand that the posts have been longer than the average blog post and that there wasn’t much humor to it, but sometimes we have to go deeper than rap that. We spend so much time discussing foolishness that we often forget to discuss the things that actually matter. I welcome feedback on all 3 parts of the series and anything else that comes to mind. As for this 3rd part, do folks have any other advice for those trying to find their spirituality or those trying to convince people to find it? And for those that have found it, when did it click for you?

Spiritually Yours,

[ORIGINALLY POSTED HERE]

Article by Three Ways To Take It

Three Ways to Take It is an award-winning lifestyle blog that covers everything from celebrity tomfoolery, politics, and music to relationships, sex, and everyday life occurrences—all told from the perspective of three talented African American writers. Our purpose is to not only post content that will make you laugh or reflect on your own life but to also keep you intellectually stimulated. Each of the writers has his/her own distinct style that caters to the different demographics of our readership. Catch Seattle Washington, Sowhatiff Jenkins, and Slim Jackson at www.threewaystotakeit.com.

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