I read an article the other about a 9-year-old Chinese girl who gave birth 2 weeks ago and my mouth dropped to the floor. What in the deuce?!? A 9-yr old having a baby? Of course this REEKS of some foul play but it got me to thinking. What is this world COMING to? At 9 years old, babies were the last things on my mind. At 9, I still thought boys had cooties. I was still busy bugging my mama to buy me erasable pens (with its fickle ink). Not birthing no babies!!! At 9yrs old, I was still putting Elmer’s Glue on my palm so I could peel it off. THAT was my pastime. Not grinding on boys.
Sidenote: Tell me y’all aint enjoy when the school glue would get messy and you had to spend 10mins peeling the glue. Oh. Just me??? O__O
Also, I’m a fan of that MTV show “16 & Pregnant.” They’ve featured some of the most shallow teenaged girls on there, who found themselves pregnant and mostly not ready to be mothers. Some of these girls are RIDICULOUS dumb. Like the one who was 8 months pregnant and went clubbing with her friends. Her mother asked her why she was going out, and the belligerent dummy replied talmbout “Just because I’m pregnant doesn’t mean I can’t go out.” O_____O I wanted to reach through the TV and slap her silly.
What would I do if my teenage daughter was to come home pregnant? First, I’d pass CLEAN out and wail and lament to the Lord, asking where I went wrong as a parent. And I’d also ask whether it’s punishment for all my years of roasting folks. Then I’d bust into an epic *WALL SLIDE.* Then I’d tell my child that above all, she was being selfish, turning me into a Grannie before my time. And then I’d say “You see this fabulousity? Ain’t nobody ‘sposed to call me Granny for AT LEAST 10 yrs.” It’d be turrble.
For me, having a child as a teen wasnt an option. I’d shame my whole family and ancestors. Africans aren’t having that! Your actions are KNOWN to reflect on not just you or your parents, but everyone who is behind you. I never got “the talk” but knowing that a large group of people would be sooo disappointed scared me straight enough. I am NOT bold. Boys??? NAW MAN! I’ll pass. Shoot… My mama woulda promptly send me back to Naija to get my life in order. #NoMamNoGirl
In High School, I told my mom a classmate of mine was preggo and she went: “EH!!! What are her parents going to do? You betta not talk to her!” I wanted to tell Mom “Umm… pregnancy isnt contagious” but I also valued the taste in my mouth so I jus sharraped and shrugged.
Another thing: I really dont understand why urban youths buy their babies expensive shoes. Why is your baby 2 months rocking hard bottom timbs or Jordans? Unless you can REALLY afford to spend $200 on shoes your baby can wear for 3 days, why is a 2-wk old rocking jordan’s? WHY PRAY TELL???
In fact, if you’re buying your baby some hard bottom shoes before they learn to walk, it can mess up their foot arches. Get them some Robeez and call it a day! They say children who can’t walk are best left in socks or barefoot (if at home) or in soft shoes. Timbs for babies are BAD. #DontDoIt
<—Dopest baby kicks! All they need before they can walk. Yes, Robeez. You can PayPal me some Dereon dollars for this advertisement. If y’all don’t PayPal me, I’ll have to tell folks they have knockoffs at WalMart and Target. Oh wait… I just did. WOMP.
If you’re an urban youth, still in high school, with a baby in Gucci shoes, you need your tubes forcibly tied. Clearly, you’ve got wrong priorities. *urban youth high-pitched squeal “YALL SEE MY BABY’S FIT?!? HE RAW AINT HE??? He keep it one hunnid! *pops gum*” O___O #GoToClass. Babies walking ’round with Coogi outfits on but they’re eating generic enfamil because “that stuff too expensive.” GTFOH.
Or the urban youth fathers: “Man, I DO for my son. I just bought him a pair of Ones LAST WEEK! What else she want from me?!?” O__O
Until my kids can WALK, they will not be getting anyhing name brand (unless someone else buys it for em). Shoo… even then. Children’s Place FTW!!! I love Children’s place. My niece’s whole wardrobe is from there. I’m a VIP there lol. Like Norm from Cheers. “Luvvie!!!”
Even when my kids are grown and they’re like “Can we get the new *insert popular designer shirt* here?* I’mo make them a Gordon Gartrell. “This is nice too!” o__O LOL I’mo be so turrble!
Moral of this story: Put the fear of the ancestors in your children so they don’t come home preggo. If you buy Gucci for your baby and you’re still in high school, you’re a dummy. Don’t get kids until you’re done running the streets.
So… what would Y’ALL do if your teenager ended up preggo? Would you *WALL SLIDE?* What does one do?
Article by Luvvie
Luvvie roasts and rants at AwesomelyLuvvie.com. She is also the co-founder of The Red Pump Project, an initiative to raise awareness on the effect of HIV/AIDS on women & girls (www.theredpumpproject.com). Luvvie is also a social media consultant and web designer.
Luvvie has written 80 article(s) for us.
{ 33 comments… read them below or add one }
Can I just say I found the article to be hilarious. "Gordon Gatrell?" LOL
but seriously, this is an epidemic creeping along side black men in prison to me, due to the fact it hinders our young women like never before. They are forced out of school and have to work or stay home to take care of their children at such a young age. I have always felt life is about momentum. When you stop pursuing something to do motherely duties, your momentum to finish that diploma or get a degree is thrown all out of wack. I have heard recently that the numbers for teen pregnancy are down, but when will they flatline? I've never seen a campaign to thwart this epidemic, but I've also seen a shift in the outrage over sexually charged music videos to nil. I say all that to say, we have to think about what happens after as well, and not just the outrage of the news "Guess who pregnant".
LOL. Gordon Gartrell was a lesson in “need not, want not.” But you’re right about life being about momentum. A good amount of teenage mothers don’t finish high school because once they have to stay home and take care of their babies, the drive to get that degree is less urgent.
However, it IS a good thing to know that teenage pregnancy is down. It wont ever flatline or be nonexistent. That’s just unrealistic. But if the rates keep dropping, GOOD!
Amazing article
My perspective on this has changed soooo much since I started teaching this year. I mean, I have always that maaaaannnn, if my daughter came home pregnant I just…..ooooh wee Jesus, let's not get started….(thats how kids get random #justincase whoopins)….
Now, that I teach middle school though, my #wantingtobeatthebeligerenceouttaa child radar has literally gone off the radar. These kids are obviously not getting beat enough lol. The have sex in the stairwells, make appointments, give head in the bathrooms and stairwells, thats the beginning. The self-esteem and perception of the young women is fatal and the mindset of the young men is detrimental. Oh, did I mention I teach middle school. Yeah! I try to do my part, I reallllly do. Countless one-on-one's, interventions, groups, "counseling", etc has went on.
I was probably a little fast for my age but let's be clear there was no WAY you would have gotten me to do any of the above when I was a girl. I would have been like "dude, do you know who I am" and chucked him the deuce. Besides that my momma would have BEAT THE BRAKES off my behind. Not even happening.
What I have noticed though is that parents dont know what their kids are doing and more so than that, they dont WANT to know. They want to stay in oblivion because if they know then they will have to deal with it.
Thanks Amber! But wowwww not sex in the stairwells!! What in the deuce?!? iCan't.
And honestly, sometimes, that is the least of my worries. I read a comment from A. Smith and I was thinking that my friends are probably equally horrified at the stories I have and its so disheartening.
Then, I watch this 16 and pregnant crap and im thinking…why are we glorifying this? Idk, I kind of understand this fascination with reality t.v. but….wait, no I dont
OMG I HAVE TO SAY I AM OUTRAGED AT THAT 9YR OLD MOM! Secondly, teen pregnancy is out of control. With welfare being handed out left & right, morals, scrupels & self respect is non existent. I blame parents 100% for teen pregnancy. A child is a child & YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE. It is your job to make sure your teen girls are safe & educated about the dangers of sex. What if, instead of your child bringing home a baby she brought home AIDS/HIV? Would you then use the excuse that you cant “watch her” everyday to justify the fact that she contracted a disease. It says 1/4 teenage girls (and im assuming the boys rate is just as high) has had clamydia. WTF??? I am 23 years old and never had an STD (thank god) But its because I have educated myself & made the right choices to protect myself & chosen partners who do the same. TEEN PREGNANCY IS 100% PREVENTABLE. But also talk to your kids about the emotional/psychological effects. Most teens want babies because they are lacking stuff at home. Parents have got to STEP IT UP. it is your JOB AND NO ONE ELSE’S TO RAISE AND PROTECT YOUR CHILDREN. GOSH!!!!!
Some of these kids who end up pregnant arent just ending up with a kid. They come back with all these acronyms to go w/ the kid (STD, HIV). It’s terrible. Some parents are to blame for their kid being pregnant. Others raise their children as right as they know and STILL become grandparents before their time.
The moral of this story is: Kids are blood pressure raisers. lol
Has it ever occured to the writer of this article or the people judging and commenting that the 9 year old who just gave birth in China was raped(forcibly or statutory)?!?! You point out how at the age of nine your brain was so undeveloped that putting glue on your hand just to watch it dry seemed like a decent pastime so what makes you think that at that age if you were above being coarsed into having sex? You make it seem like this little girl said "glue's no fun anymore,I'm a grind on boys". Do you see any news of who the father is? Chances are he's not coming forward because he's not a boy,he's a man who raped and took advantage of a little girl. Have a heart. Also, while 16 is very different on the spectrum of intelligence and awareness, take a little time to check out the age of the fathers on 16 and Pregnant. Most of them are statutory rapists also. It's great that you had smart, loving and protective parents who taught you the things you need to know in life to not end up pregnant as a child but why don't you try placing at least some of the blame where it's due? On the grown men having sex with these children!!!!!
Clearly, the day the Lord was giving out a sense of humor, you stayed back and got an extra helping of oversensitivity and came back with a shaky soapbox.
I, too, can wax philosophical about statutory rape, but since that wasn't the point of this, I didn't. Cry two tears and that bucket may just overflow.
Statutory rape is supposed to be humorous? I guess next you'll be claiming that victim blaming is also.
Ya know what? Not ONE time in this entire tome I wrote did I mention statutory rape. So if you're feeling jumpy about it, that's a personal issue.
Yes, I am a humorist. Yes, I sometimes talk about serious topics, using an angle that's light-hearted. If you have a problem with it, just ignore all posts w/ the byline "Luvvie." TADA!!! See how SIMPLE that is??? The power of the innanets = having a choice. O__o
These were 2 precious minutes of my life I can't get back
You didn't mention statutory rape, you mentioned a child who was raped and how crazy it is that she wasn't pasting glue to her hand instead of looking for sex.Forgive me for not seeing the humor in how that 9 year old child ended up pregnant. You act like she wasn't interested in regular 9 year old activities and she wanted to have sex and get pregnant. I don't have a "personal issue" with statutory, I just don't think it's right to see a victim (especially a young child) and say "ain't that a shame?i'm so much better than her because I had adults in my life that took care of me and protected me" I read this story weeks ago and thought "Ain't that a shame, no one's even looking for the criminal who did this to her just gawking as if she brought it on herself"
As for me ignoring your posts, that sounds like a great idea but I've also got a suggestion for you- Don't write about children in a heartless manor if you don't want to be called out about it.
"You didn’t mention statutory rape, you mentioned a child who was raped and how crazy it is that she wasn’t pasting glue to her hand instead of looking for sex"
Reading is REALLY not your strong suit. Not in the least bit. When you learn to quit extrapolating faulty logic from what you read, then you can be an adversary worthy of debate.
"Don’t write about children in a heartless manor "
Umm… I won't write about children in a heartless house. You don't have to worry about that. O__O
The fact of the matter is… there are some fast ass nine year olds. I was one. I wasn't out sexing, but I was sneaking up late at night watching Red Shoe Diaries and ratchet cinemax programs, when my momma was sleep.
As far as 16 year olds, again…some are raped, forcibly or statutorily but the fact of the matter is, some of em are hot bout the ass and go around sexing boys, not using protection and not using their head for more than a hat rack.
I commend you for trying to be #deeperthanrap, tho. However, I don't think you understand the point that Luvvie was trying to make in reference to her post and statutory rape. It wasn't that statutory rape is comical, it was just that Re: This Post and Statutory Rape, Luvvie's post = This Ain't That.
re: 16 and pregnant. actually most of the 'baby diddies' are about the same age as the girls. They're simply dumb teenagers with hyper active hormones. MTV is baseless, but they know when to stay out of particularly illegal situation (such as statutory rape).
Not sure about the second season but here's a breakdown of the first:
Ryan 20
Gary 22 or 24(can't remember which)
I don't know the Name of Farrah's baby's dad but he was 18 (depending on what state could be a statutory rapist)
That's three out of four.Not too sure about the all of the girls ages but I do know that many of them were not sixteen when the babies were conceived.
REALLY? You're about to claim an 18yr old having sex w/ his girlfriend who is 16 as "statutory rape?" I hope to GAWD you're not in the legal profession. You'd be throwing the book at folks all willy nilly.
And I may catch flack for this but I don't see a 20yr old and 16yr old being together as "statutory rape" either. Those 4 yrs can mean very little. Now when you're talking about 16 & 35, THEN we can talk.
Its so hard to say. I mean it IS statutory…period! But thats like a junior dating someone in college which happens often right? YEAH, i just dont know lol….parents approve of that often. Those two were in high school at the same time. A freshman and a senior. TECHNICALLY but we know how we all look at that freshman who talks to the senior lol
AND while you wanna talk about statutory rape, I was a mandated reporter w/ the Dept of Child & Family Services in college and gave workshops to children on how to stay safe and how to disclose being touched in uncomfortable ways by someone.
I could drop ALL these stats and even TELL you about a 6yr old to disclose to me. But I don't want to. And you're only going to be ridiculous about it anyway. So… yeah. #BooBYE
Is it just me or are people becoming increasingly sensitive on this site when it comes to humor posts?
Yeah it seems everyone has an extra stick stuck up their nethers nowadays.
I too thoroughly enjoy that MTV mess of a show, "16 and Pregnant." Quite frankly, if I were a mother and my daughter came home preggo – we'd go to a doctor and ask about ALL of the options. Termination wouldn't make "16 and Pregnant" an entertaining show…it'd be down right sad quite frankly. Giving a baby up for adoption wouldn't make "16 and Pregnant," informative of life as a teenager with a baby…but I'm curious about that process. Do all babies immediately get placed? Do some end up in state care? What are the statistics around children in state care?
Entertainment often shows the exceptional circumstances which make situations seem idealistic. But I want a show to present statistics so that we can understand what is MOST LIKELY to happen to both a teenage mom and her child.
…and you start with talking about the shame that families deal with in terms of teenage pregnancy. I think that shame carries over into adulthood. Many grown women feel shame when they learn that they are pregnant out of wedlock. But truth be told, it is so common these days that nobody flinches in shame.
One of the couples on "16&pregnant" gave their daughter up for adoption b/c they wanted someone in a better position than them to raise her. They were the most mature of all the couples too.
And thank YOU for giving me life.
Look. Chirrens these days are dumb as hell. Just stupid. Why are you sexing each other down in the stairwell? Get'cha lesson!
Ok, no, seriously…We have got to do a better job in the HOME on teaching our kids some daggone self control. My BFF is a 5th grade teacher. Just this year I've had to help him figure out how to deal with a girl asking him the rules to "Just the tip", kids who think having babies is fun, boys who wanna… well… let's just say do stuff they're not supposed to do in the bathroom.. Everytime he calls a piece of my spirit dies.
If my child came to me pregnant, I know I'd cry and I don't cry. Lawd bless it — how DOES a parent handle that!?
16 & Pregnant is my crack. I'm so disgusted with (some of) their immaturity and selfishness and yet I can't turn away.
I'm confused curiousgeorgina, are the baby momma's unaccountable for their prepubescent heauxshat (read sexing boys after homeroom)?
LMAOOOO @ "heauxshat." My life is better for this spelling of "hosh*t." Thank you.
"why don’t you try placing at least some of the blame where it’s due? On the grown men having sex with these children!!!!!
This made me think of Private Practice … the 16 yr old daughter of the 2 Black doctors on the show got pregnant & when the mom found out she slapped the crap out of her daughter … I'm not for hitting kids & all but I was feeling that move … Oh then she took and dragged her little but towards her colleague that could hook her up with an abortion … I'm not for abortions (per say) but I was feeling that move too
So … umm … If push came to shove & I had a 16 yr old & she got pregnant (or he got someone pregnant) … I'd MAKE that child work at a fast food restaurant or somewhere that paid like $4 an hour, take all of the money he or she earns, stop paying her/his bills for her/him & force her/him to act like an adult since she/he made a VERY adult decision & had unprotected & premarital sex.
I can speak to this, that although I had already graduated high school when I got pregnant, I was hardly an adult as far as Im concerned. I struggled with the options: I wanted to terminate so that I could finish college, go to grad school, and start a business. Once the "get rid of this" panic passed, I wanted to have my child, but was STRONGLY considering adoption because my sons father, who was a year older than I, went from "great, we're pregnant" to "do you think we are old enough for this?".
I didnt think I'd be able to provide for a child, and to be brutally honest, I didnt like children much before I got pregnant. I was as responsible as I knew how to be since I decided to have sex (used protection that although was not expired failed – I'll never use Lifestyles again), yet still got pregnant. Never got the talk of "what to do if the condom breaks in two", so I was clueless. At the end of the day, I am raising my son, I've done very well in spite of the initial fear and shock. Yes, I cried like someone had died for weeks after I found out, and yes, that wouldnt have made for entertaining tv, but it happens more than people think.
Not everyone is out here giving away their bodies to every person they meet, some try to be responsible with their decision to become sexually active, and pregnancy can and does still happen. It has made the road from A to B a little longer, but I am getting where I want to be, and have an extremely intelligent little 9 yr old to take the journey with me. So I do as much as I can to stop other young ladies from going through the experience. I counsel, give them straight talk, and help the understand the responsibility. Having a baby isnt like owning a Cabbage Patch. It's not about Baby Jordan's, Baby Coogi, and off-brand Similac. lol. But thats the twisted perception that some young ladies have.
If my son comes home in high school and tells me some young girl is pregnant. I'm doing the wall slide, fainting, and wailing like Mary at the tomb. LOL. Because although I'm proof that teen parenting can be done with good results, I'm the exception, not the rule,
Uh yeah.. Curious Georgina.. I don't mean to kick you off your soap box but yeah… sit your ass all THEE way down.. First and foremost, no where in the article about the 9 year old girl does it confirm that she was in fact, raped. The article touches on the stature of children under the age of 14 having no say in sexual relations, but beyond that anything referencing the child being raped does not appear.. And considerably speaking, if she had been raped I am quite sure that Luvvie (HAY GIRL!! *waves*) wouldn't make light of the situation.
Now with "16 and pregnant," those heifers are clearly drinking from the stupid koolaid and their parents are heavily supplying the dosage. Everyone of those idiots had consensual sex without protection, KNOWING that there was a chance that pregnancy could occur. Nevermind the idea of sexually transmitted diseases. Their parents failed to provide them with the discipline required to not even DREAM to have sex much less get pregnant. And let's say, even if their parents weren't in the picture, a majority of teenagers these days are devoid of intelligence. Common sense math of having sex + no condoms = pregnancy seems to fly right over there heads resulting in the deer caught in the headlights look when the piss on the stick results in a positive pregnancy test.
As a mother of two sons, I'll be COTDAMN if both of these rock head negroes come and tell me they got a chick pregnant at 16. Ass whippings for everyone!! If you can't wait to have sex, be smart about your decisions. Condoms cost nothing compared to abortions and children..
"Life is a comedy for those who think… and a tragedy for those who feel."
Newsflash- If a child is not old enough to give consent it's rape! especially in the case of the 9 yr old. When I read the article weeks ago it was even suggested ( and obvious to anyone who really stops to think about it) that the father had not come forward and the girl's family refuses to let her speak about who he is because he's probably a grown man,in her family.
(sigh) sweetheart.. what I'd suggest is that you stop taking it upon yourself to make words magically appear in a news article that does not exist. It is irresponsible of a journalist (like myself) to suggest and/or imply what you are saying to be true. It's called libel honey (google it).. Now, that aside.. Captain Obvious says that RAPE has no age limit, and laws that state rape based on age has nothing to do with a child allowing consensual sex. People do a lot of things the law says don't do but that never stops them from doing it. And while we're at it, you nor I know what happened with that little girl. The whole point of this article has absolutely nothing to do with what you're talking about. And your sensitivity about absolutely nothing is making my bowels loose. CALM DOWN HON.. As I said YESTERDAY (because I really forgot about this), the author would not make light of a situation as serious as rape. However, the epidemic of kids having kids is something that is not new and dammit can sometimes be ridiculously funny, which is the point she was trying to make. Now if you feel that strongly about it, take you and your soap box to China and help her ass out. Buy the kid some Jordans while you're at it. That kid will be BAWSE!!! *drops mic*
16 & pregnant makes me laugh. Loud. And then I think my cousin who is 19 w/two children. She has rings, earrings & all these name brand clothes for her daughter. But I have to give her $$ regularly.
And I don't care how much you talk to these girls, how much they're educated(she had a 4.2 GPA & was accepted at DePaul, UIC, Norhtwestern & U of I w/scholarships) she had a strong male presence, her daddies(yeah she has 2), my uncles & my pastors.
She had a car at 16, had everything she wanted, but she still managed to get pregnant. I'm convinced that some girls just make those decisions cause they want to.
Oh and I told her she was a hoodrat when she put her daughter on some Jordans. You ain't got no job & baby Fluketta got on Jordan's.
*Fluketta is the fem version of Flukie. Chicago folks know the reference.