While flipping through the channels on my boob tube, I came across a show last night called ‘Who the (Bleep) Did I Marry’, a docu-drama esque show on Discovery ID that talks about women being married to men they didn’t really know. In this ongoing series, it turns out that these husbands ended up being bigamists. serial killers, and in one case, the husband was a woman. It got me to thinking, how can you marry someone that you really don’t know? And even more, how can one go years married to someone and truly not know who they really are?
Marriage is a lifelong commitment. And in this day and age, people do not take it seriously. Getting married because you love someone is not reason enough to get married—getting married because you love someone, you respect them, you like them, you cannot see yourself being without them, AND you can see yourself being married to them for the rest of your lives—well those are reasons to get married.
Some of us rush into the whole married thing without getting to know the person we are marrying. I know when I got married, we dated one another for a year after knowing one another for two years, and then was engaged for three years before jumping the broom. Now I know three years may be a long time to be engaged, but for me, I wanted to really know the man I was marrying. I didn’t want any surprises.
And I am not saying that one needs a long engagement in order to truly get to know someone. If someone wants to hide their true selves from you, they most certainly can. But I also think that it is the person they are hiding things from that allows this behavior. For instance, there are often signs that are not looked at closely. These signs are ignored because we think that we can change someone or it will “just go away”. But those signs are there for a reason. Take the warning before its too late.
I pity these women who have these tales of men who led double lives while they were married. But I also blame them for not heeding the warnings. A man who has three wives, well I am sure there were signs that things were not right. Did he stay gone a lot? Was he not reachable by phone? Were there things that just didn’t add up? Have you not met his family?
There are way too many cases of ‘Who the Bleep Did I Marry’, which may be one reason why the divorce rate is so high. We must take the time to truly get to know our mates before we pledge our lives to them.
Did you watch ‘Who the Bleep Did I Marry’? What are your thoughts on marriage and relationships and the whole “fools rush in” mentality? Comment below!
Article by Danyelle Little
The Cubicle Chick embodies independence, confidence, style, pizazz, and has a giving heart, while being fabulous doing so. As an independent mother of two myself, I’ve learned a thing or two when it comes to getting the most out of life! Beauty and fashion as well as workplace etiquette and do’s and dont’s are my forte, and I share my knowledge with my readers. I also try new looks in terms of make-up trends and I am open to critique from my readers whom I call Cubicle Chicks.I am a mother of two children. I work in the real estate industry. I am a decent cook, aspiring writer, best friend, daughter, granddaughter, Godmother, niece, cousin, lover, and sometime vixen.Simply put, I am EVERY woman.
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{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }
Just as many people married individuals they didn't "know" today as they did in years past. The only different between today and yesteryear is the relative ease of divorce.
I think about 70-80% of divorces are still filed by women, so to be quite honest I think it's really about women not making good decisions with the options that they have.
Or it could be that women no longer want to deal with the infidelity of men, even though infidelity stats in terms of women have been on the rise.
Who knows? Maybe, people just don't give a damn no more.
"Who knows? Maybe, people just don’t give a damn no more."
Ding ding ding! We've found a winner!
I NEVER thought of this: I think about 70-80% of divorces are still filed by women, so to be quite honest I think it’s really about women not making good decisions with the options that they have.
Hmmmmm
A lot of women treat marriage like they're casting for a play. All they need is a warm body to fill the part of the husband. You see this especially is chicks over 30 when the ole biological clock is ringing louder than Big Ben.
If more men understood the risk that marriage involves for them, I think more guys would opt out. If you are a successful man, you stand way more to lose than you do to gain by signing that piece of paper (which happens to be a legally binding document).
You ain’t said nothin’ but a word. 100% cosign.
I think that one reason women end up with the wrong one is because they ignore the warning signs, the gigantic red flags waving overhead. I've been there, ignored it for a while, then wised up & walked away. He was a fraud, a con, an officer now under investigation. (I'm 31 (he was/is 38) and in no hurry to wed the wrong one. It'll happen in due time). I've seen men try to rehabilitate a street chic or snag a trophy wife, only to discover that she's incapable of giving up old habits. If you think you're in love, slow down & do a few pre-marital counseling sessions. It helps to have a neutral party facilitate & get you to face reality.
Note to self (I’m going through some thangs right now): “If you think you’re in love, slow down & do a few pre-marital counseling sessions. It helps to have a neutral party facilitate & get you to face reality.”
Neutral party is very important.
I love this article. It's soo true you jump into relationships & yes even marriages without really knowing the person & the older you get the more baggage & secrets the person probably has going into it as well. Fudge I wish there were a magic ball that could tell us what we are getting into before hand. Now I just call every new experience or relationship an adventure lol because that's what it just might end up being at the end of the day, after all the secrets & fetishes, problems & ex's come out. Just one big adventure
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