People often ask me where all the good men and women are. Honestly, they’re all out there it’s just a matter of sorting through all the BS candidates to find the right man or woman for the job. Before there can be a selection process, though, there has to be an approach.
In the past I’ve suggested that women try approaching men and even got a few tips from eligible bachelors but most ladies balk at that idea, citing issues of that being a “man’s job.” If that’s the case that leaves courtship initiation up to hapless men, who nine times out of 10 don’t have a clue of how to approach women.
That’s probably why a lot of guys rely on pickup lines as a way of breaking the ice or masking the nervousness of making the first move. I’ve never been good at that sort of thing and with good reason.
Being an only child for 10 years and just the nature of my job as a writer, I have a vivid imagination. With that said, a ton of ideas pop into my head all the time. A couple years ago while sitting on the train, I randomly came up with a pickup line that I’d probably never have the balls to actually try but it’d be nice for a movie scene.
Imagine a man walks into a train car, museum, or any other public space with strangers and sees an attractive woman. He positions himself next to her, but doesn’t look or stare directly at her. Once posted alongside the woman, he pulls out a digital camera and extends his arm out to take a self-portrait that includes her in it.
By this point the woman is probably giving him the WTF?!?!-face. Before she bugs out completely, he shows her the camera’s screen and says, “I just wanted to see if we looked good together. What do you think?”
I figure one of two things could happen. A) She thinks he’s a psycho and runs away after destroying his camera. B) She smiles and strikes up a conversation.
If I were a betting man, I’d lean towards option A being the more popular reaction. Since I value the cost of my digital camera and like the idea of it remaining in one piece, I would never ever actually try anything remotely close to this in real life but I’m sure it’s not the worst thing a woman has heard or seen from a man attempting to “kick it.”
I think the reason guys resort to pickup lines and the like is because most of us don’t know how to approach a woman. Of the myriad of reasons for this could be nervousness, fear of rejection, and just not knowing better—sometimes young boys just mimic the lame game of the men before them. In an effort to break the cycle and help the dating lives of singles, I figured I’d just ask y’all.
Ladies, how would you like for a man to approach you? Are there places and/or times that a man shouldn’t approach you? What do you think of my digital camera pickup line? Would something like that ever work or is it just asking for a beatdown? What are some of the most creative pickup lines that you’ve heard from a guy? Did it actually work? What are some of the worst pickup lines you’ve ever heard? Fellas, how often do pickup lines work for you? Do you find it hard approaching women at times? If so, why? Would you prefer it if women approached you sometimes?
Speak your piece…
Article by Naked with Socks On
Naked with Socks ON is what I like to call a “life blog,” where people come to discuss everything from sex and relationships to music and movies to politics and technology. It’s an open forum for discussions about a wide array of topics that people from all walks of life can appreciate and relate to. As for the name, I decided on NakedWithSocksOn (or NWSO) because it’s symbolic of how I write. I reveal everything while still leaving something to the imagination. Ask me a question and I will give you an answer. It will be honest. It will come from the heart. It may embarrass me. At times, it will be painful for me to share. But I will sacrifice bits of myself to impart knowledge on my fellow man and for the sake of telling a damn good story. So that’s why I am NakedWithSocksOn. Check out more at http://www.nakedwithsockson.com/
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I approach women from the POV of war.
Your confidence vs. her insecurities. When you’re low in confidence, you have to win by using indirect methods (pick-up lines, negging, playing games etc.) to deal with a woman’s insecurities. When you’re high in confidence you can win by being straightforward.
Man, people sure are obsessed with using insecurity as a factor in every thing.
Insecurity is simply a lack of confidence. I don’t know how you can talk about one, without talking about the other.
What happens when you meet a very confident woman?
JUST BE YOURSELF, sincerely!
lol, if that worked there wouldn’t be PUA schools.
It does work- tricks, games and facades are for lames, because eventually the true self is revealed anyway, so why not just start there!
Most of these women have never pursued men, not to talk about pursuing women. They don’t have an understanding as to what is going on, or how one reaches a level in which one can actually approach a member of the opposite sex and then be successful in reaching their goal.
It’s like MJ; he had to take a 2000 shots everyday, so he could perform magic on the stage. Most girls want to see you perform the magic, but they don’t want to know how you got there. Which is why so many of them give and accept horrible advice.
Dating is nothing but a facade.
Ladies, how would you like for a man to approach you? – Quite frankly I am not much of a ‘people person’ so I would rather not be approached.
Are there places and/or times that a man shouldn’t approach you? – Yes. Men usually try to approach me when I am trying to get somewhere.
What do you think of my digital camera pickup line? – I wouldn’t go for it. I think that whole scenario is pushing it too far when both people are complete strangers to each other.
Would something like that ever work or is it just asking for a beatdown? – That would never work on me.
What are some of the most creative pickup lines that you’ve heard from a guy? – None
Did it actually work? – No.
What are some of the worst pickup lines you’ve ever heard? – It could take all day for me to type them.
Got Damn, she cold as hell haha. I bet money she has somebody in a head lock right now…
the never heard a creative pick up line answer tells a whole story.
my lead is always “hi” or “hey whats up” or “whats going on” or “how you doin”. something like that. its simple, but accompanied with a disarming smile it normally does the job. before i go there even, i usually make some sort of eye contact or its as a follow up to her eye contact. then it just goes from there. ive never ever used a line unless it was in the ebb and flow of the conversation and something i just came up with on the spot. im with j2 on the confidence thing. alot of women feed off your confidence and open up to it. even tho its not my style i think the cell picture was pretty cool, but youd have to have the personality to pull it off or else it woulda got awkward real quick.
sometimes a woman is on her way somewhere clearly not paying attention but is so fly i just gotta be like “hey! whats up”, dick in my hand, cheesing and everything, but that has not worked since undergrad.. shrugs
I don’t really like pickup lines. I rather a guy come up to me and just strike up conversation. I’m a people person so I never shun away good conversation. He gets extra points if he can articulate a compliment that has more depth than “damn ma, you fine as hell.”
The only place I don’t really like being approached is during church. Before and after maybe but while I’m on line to receive the Eucharist…a major NO!!!
The camera idea is bold and if the right guy did it I might get a laugh out of it and if he has witty conversation and can keep me interested I don’t see why it wouldn’t work.
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so i love the digital camera idea actually. and i don’t even look at it as a “pick up line;” it’s funny and it’s creative and it’s telling the girl something about you from the start. obviously it says you’re confident and fun, and kinda quirky, and i think most women would agree humor gets A LOT of extra credit points- think chris rock, or those less than attractive dudes from the Knocked Up/Superbad/Hangover movies- they get chicks because they’re funny.
i think it also gives the guy who uses that move insight into the girl they pull it on. if she freaks out she’s probably a little high strung, if she appreciates it, she’s chill, and will probably be easy to get along with. if she plays into it, she’s quick on her feet and coquettish.
personally, if the guy was appealing, i think i’d look at the picture, wrinkle my nose, say “no, i don’t like it”, while grabbing the camera to take another picture of us together with my ‘good side.’
i like the camera pic…if executed correctly I’d find it very funny and return a conversation just on the basis of him being bold enough to do the whole “pick up line” in the first place.
However most corny “probably heard from a TV show they’ve watched lines” automatically get the blank stare from me….or I’m so into my cell phone tweeting about you saying that whack line so I’m going to ignore you anyway….
One place that is a no no on trying to pick up a girl in at her place of employment!!! Maybe at lunch, or if she’s out somewhere and it’s major corporation and your interactions aren’t everyday all day! Don’t just walk up to her desk/cubicle….it would be an awkward situation if she turns you down or even worse if she accepts and the “friendship/relationship” goes bad!!!
-GOOD DAY!!
I’ve never done “pick-up” lines.
I’ve been told that I’m a natural flirt, but I don’t think so. I’m just very friendly.
I had some type of pre-existing relationship with every woman I’ve ever dated; we’ve been co-workers, classmates, member of same org, have mutual friends, etc. etc.
So they already know a little about me, I know a little about them, and just ask ‘em out.
I don’t care how a man approaches me as long as he does so respectfully. If you are the right guy, you can probably get away with approaching a woman virtually anywhere (within reason). Certain things have always bothered me (for instance, approaching me while I am reading), but all that would go out the window for the “right” guy.
The digital camera thing is absolutely adorable. Most women would totally go for that if you are the type of funny guy who exudes warmth. I honestly cannot remember the last time a guy approached me with a creative pickup line. Maybe this is a sign of the times. I guess I’m grown, now.
Often there is a huge disconnect between what a woman says she wants and what she actually goes for.
For example how often do you hear women say they want a nice guy…..but they’re dating a jerk. Actions speak louder than words and jerks get way more pu$$y than nice guys. Always have, always will.
But the dude doesn’t reveal himself as a jerk in the initial approach though, that comes after he gets the azz.
Think about controlling a-holes. At first the women love it because a guy “in charge” in a turn on and they overlook the red flags that this guy is not just a jerk, but abusive.
Now I’m not advocating violence, but I am saying that women only go for the nice guys once they’re older (less attractive) and have a few souvenirs (kids) from the bad boys. So if you want to nail them when they’re young, you better get in touch with your inner a-hole.
Yeah, that’s real talk
This is ri-damn-diculous. I swear, some of you people should have never been given keyboards.
Ladies, how would you like for a man to approach you? Just say Hello and introduce yourself. Ask me my name, etc. Learn something about how sales people ask open ended questions, use those skills to keep the convo going. It’s not that hard. If I’m not interested there could be a million reasons why I’m not which may or may not have anything to do with what you said or did. Don’t take it personal and move on.
Are there places and/or times that a man shouldn’t approach you? Not really – too many variables to why or why not to approach most of which a man would never be able to ascertain. If your interested, there is no harm in trying.
What do you think of my digital camera pickup line? I like it. It’s unique which goes a long way. I would however question if this was your canned method or whether it was unique to seizing the moment because you happened to have a camera with you. *I know, you can’t win for losing.* And since I’m direct, I would probably ask you if it was your canned answer. Either way would be a win for your pick-up line… because the conversation would be in full swing at that point.
Would something like that ever work or is it just asking for a beatdown? I know I wouldn’t beat anyone down. Dudes take pictures of women all the time without their consent – at least in this scenario I would know it. Would it work? *shrugs*
What are some of the most creative pickup lines that you’ve heard from a guy? None were creative enough to remember.
Did it actually work? Can’t say that the typical pick-up line has ever worked.
What are some of the worst pickup lines you’ve ever heard? Any type of cat call. *head nod* What’s up, shortie? — No. “DaYummmn” *covers mouth* — No. Any type of bait and switch irks my nerves which interestingly enough I just wrote about today. Check my site “If you were actually successful…”
Okay, I think the digital camera idea is cute; but maybe I’m not like most women, I have appreciation for good game. What works: a gentleman willing to approach you (subtly or overtly) and say hello and converse. Alternatively, if he is receptive to a woman approaching him or heck talk to a stranger, that’s good too. I’m very extroverted, so for me the approach is a non-issue. I figure if you’re out socializing you should socialize (no pick-ups intended).
What usually works is just good conversation or convo opener.
is always a smile catcher.
Creative line: an older guy asked if I just had a baby (set up: I’m buxum). I said no, and feeling bad because he’s taking my cubbiness for ‘baby fat’. He then responds in dirty on man fashion, survreying me up & down and licking his chops – Oh, you just fine like that on your own!
It has hella funny, and a good save. No, it didn’t work.
No-nos: I prefer not being pressed to hard any situation (I hate being pitched to). Intercepting me when I’m obviously distracted or on my way.
it’s not the pickup line.. it’s the guy.. this guy says to me: “can I get your number so I can have the sunshine from your smile everyday?” I was ctfu in his face.. almost rolling on the floor b/c it was SO corny! But he took it in stride, recognized his whackness and I gave him my number because he obviously had a good sense of humor and didn’t ego-trip. I like people who are unique and funny so if he’s corny, it better be because he’s being himself and not imitating some corny 70s pimp ish.
As for the camera thing.. I laughed just reading it so I know I’d give a brotha some convo if he did that to me in a non-creepy manner.
At the end of the day.. it’s about me being able to see how genuine you are.. if you’re being true to yourself.. I can get with that
Me,personally, I don’t have a problem approaching a guy and letting him know I’m interested if I’m interested—forget waiting for him to approach me—I’m all about being pro-active. Plus, waiting for a guy to approach you is so 20th-century (just kidding,hee hee hee). I don’t need to hear any dang lines–if a guy just approaches me like he has some common sense and good home training, I’m cool with that. I don’t get this attitude of “well,he’s the man, he’s supposed to ask me”. How else are you going to find out whether the guy you like could be interested in you or not?
@Captain No Marriage
Puh–lease—my ex was a controlling, abusive a-hole, which is why I left his sorry a** in the first place. Believe me, there ain’t s**t attractive about being with somebody like that. I’d take a nice,decent guy over a f**ked-up a–hole any damn day of the week. Yeah, the jerks may get more p*ssy, but how many of them are actually able to keep any women for any length of time? Usually, it’s insecure young women who put up with the jerk’s bulls**t because they feel they can’t do any better, but once they grow a pair (figuratively speaking) and realize that they can live without the motherf**ker, his ass is kicked to the curb, sooner or later.