Now before I begin, let me clarify by saying that this is NOT a bash heavyset women/men post. I’m continually learning the PC terms and alternates to words I didn’t know were offensive (i.e. “chubby chaser” which I wrongfully used in my “Ode to the Big Girl” post last year) so forgive my ignorance if I drop a term that unintentionally offends. Just let me know what it is and I’ll kindly remove it from my vocabulary.
While you can’t put every man of a particular race in one box, generally speaking, men of color tend to appreciate a thicker woman more than their melanin-deprived counterparts. So it came as no surprise when I was perusing DallasPenn.com a couple weeks back and saw DP proclaiming his love for “thick chicks.”
What I found interesting were the comments that followed.
“Correction: It’s not black men who like big womenz, itz BROKE MEN that luvs big womenz. PROOF: Did u eva see an NBA player wit a big girl?” — ZEEZUZ
You’re probably thinking the same thing I was: what the hell does being broke have to do with the size of your mate? If that wasn’t the most ignorant thing I ever heard… Well, another commenter chimed in with the same query.
“My chick is THICK, and I love it. Not FAT, THICK. BIG difference. (No PUN intended) @ZEEZUS(???) and why would finance make a difference anyway? Are you implying that thin women are needy or golddiggers? I you are, start running now. They will catch you.” — Lion XL
While Lion XL initially appeared to be defending plus-size sisters, he quickly turned to backhand bashing within the same comment.
“But to be real, ain’t nothing pretty about a large women with red, gold and green hair, and a tattoo of NYC across her chest, with clothes so damn tight the cat from the BABY PHAT logo is suffocating. (Don’t know why, but biggurls love them some BABY PHAT!)” — Lion XL
The love/hate dynamic was repeated once again by a later commenter, who said:
“I don’t know too many cats who dig skinny girls like that. It’s just something about a woman with meat on her bones that says just that; woman. But be warned, thick before 21 = fat by 35, generally speaking. In those cases, keep them away from Krispy Kreme’s & MickeyD’s, & all should be aight. Shit, do that for health reasons regardless…” —Tony Grands
As ignorant or mean as these comments are, they’re examples of real conversations and perceptions that some people have about plus-sized women—right or wrong.
Within Dallas’ post, he included a link to an article called “Do Black Men Prefer Their Women Larger?” As a Black man, I can only speak for myself, but I think the answer is yes and no.
Like I stated earlier, men of color usually are more open to the idea of a woman having more “meat on her bones.” I for one am an ass man and appreciate a curvy woman, but at the same time that doesn’t mean I won’t acknowledge the beauty of a woman that’s slimmer.
I won’t even get into dress sizes because honestly, as a man, the female size chart is way too complicated. I wear between a 32-34, which represents actual inches, so I have no idea what your 2 or 16 represents in the real world.
Besides, why are we, people of African descent, following a size chart based on European standards of beauty? It doesn’t even make sense to use that as the benchmark of what it means to be a woman. Sure there are those afflicted with Nassatall and may be straight as a broom stick, but for the most part sisters have hips, thighs, butts and curves. It’s because of that lines like Apple Bottom Jeans exist for us, by us without bias.
Still, whether we realize it or not, many of us are still stuck on European ideals of beauty. That goes beyond size and into appearance as well. So many people are caught up in the notion that long flowing hair is the ideal, while naturally nappy follicles are not. We’re often taught early on that light skin is pretty and more desirable than dark skin. The fact of the matter is we as a people come in many different hues, textures and sizes that are all beautiful.
Everyone has a right to their personal preference in terms of what or whom they find attractive. I like to consider myself very versatile when it comes to the physicality of the women I’ve dated. I definitely have a “type” in terms of my ideal and what turns my head, but I haven’t let that limit who I’ve actually gone out with (within reason).
At the end of the day, it really doesn’t matter whether or not a person is “big” or “small” but if you’re attracted to them or not. We live in a very shallow and vain world where a lot of folks can’t get past what someone looks like. We often forget that physical “beauty” can disappear in an instant while inner beauty is eternal.
Do you think society gives plus-sized people a bad wrap? Are men of color more accepting of larger women or are they just as biased? Does the same apply for larger men being accepted in communities of color? Is there a double standard? What did you think of that comment about finances being a factor in who people date? Do you think European standards of beauty have warped our on perception of self? Are you too vain or shallow to date someone that was plus-sized? How important are looks to you over how someone treats you?
Speak your piece…
UPDATE:
A couple people have hit me off-site regarding the main picture above. One sister told me the sisters in the pic are “hideous” and a bad representation for the “big girls.” I gotta say I’m a bit shocked. While I’ll admit that the women aren’t my personal ideals, I thought it was a way better selection than my other options on Google (i.e. Martin Lawrence and Eddie Murphy in a fat suit). In an effort to be respectful I chose a pic of two REAL women to be visual for this entry because I felt the point is to show that our standards of beauty are all twisted. I think those two women are average (plus-size or not) but far from ugly or “hideous.” I wonder if that adjective would have been used if those same women were slimmer. I just wanted to bring this part of the discussion to the table as well. What do you think of the main pic on this post?
Article by Naked with Socks On
Naked with Socks ON is what I like to call a “life blog,” where people come to discuss everything from sex and relationships to music and movies to politics and technology. It’s an open forum for discussions about a wide array of topics that people from all walks of life can appreciate and relate to. As for the name, I decided on NakedWithSocksOn (or NWSO) because it’s symbolic of how I write. I reveal everything while still leaving something to the imagination. Ask me a question and I will give you an answer. It will be honest. It will come from the heart. It may embarrass me. At times, it will be painful for me to share. But I will sacrifice bits of myself to impart knowledge on my fellow man and for the sake of telling a damn good story. So that’s why I am NakedWithSocksOn. Check out more at http://www.nakedwithsockson.com/
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Society doesn't like much of anybody when you really think about it. For every trait there is in the world there is a group of people who don't like it and bash you about it. I'm slim and I have gotten my fair share of ridicule from guys and girls alike and will continue to. The same goes for all of my female friends. I think as females we face a lot of criticism and ridicule from both society and the media and every which way receive messages that we aren't good enough for some standard. It's not about fat vs. skinny because if the big girls weren't too big there would be something else they would be judged on.
Most of the 'criticism and ridicule' that women get comes from other women. young vs old, fat vs skinny, pretty vs average vs ugly, black vs ____, etc. Women tend to do that regardless and actually pay more attention to one another than even men.
In western culture most people are big/fat because they aren't physically active. Many black women aren't physically active. Hence, statistically, black women are among the most likely to be overweight.
“Most of the ‘criticism and ridicule’ that women get comes from other women”
I’m going to have to respectfully disagree with that statement. You can look at the posters on FXP to see that…
I concur…
“Most of the ‘criticism and ridicule’ that women get comes from other women”
Respectfully disagree. Look at various posts on FXP to see that this isn’t true. The women who comment and disparage … although very vocal are few….thankfully.
on here, yes, that hold true. but in the real world… not so much.
Not true cause most of the black women in the real world are overweight
YES I SAID MOST
As far as hair goes, I would definitely say that there is still a large part of our psyche enslaved to the European standard, however in terms of weight, I completely disagree.
When you got to Africa, not Jessica Simpson's Africa, thickness is directly proportional to wealth, it is not proportional to beauty like people keep bastardizing over here in the West, not every woman can have a ground shaking ass, and just because you're fat doesn't mean you're gonna get one. A Toccara can only be black, but even she comes around every once in a full moon.
Furthermore, it's amazing how the definition of thickness has changed over the years, go back and watch an old soul train episode, and tell me how many fat girls you can find that were up there dancing on stage with their natural hair?
The fact is, that yes black men do admire women with meat, but we admire our meat in the breast and buttocks only. We don't admire meat in the face or in the mid-section, and since that is guaranteed over the long period of time, it is better that a woman maintain a slim figure (slim girls tend to get married, thick girls tend to get smashed) for her own benefit, so when she gets older she maintains a certain level of attractiveness, that she would lose as a young fat woman.
I think this whole big is beautiful thing, is really just a coping mechanism that the government has established into the psyche of the people, so they don't have to hold corporations to task for the abominations they have committed and put into our foods. To condone it and accept it, will be the downfall of us all. People should listen to Dick Gregory talks about food and nutrition or at least watch the Food. Inc documentary.
Pretty weak argument sorry. Speaking as a Black man you would be surprised how many men gravitate to a voluptuous woman of color. Besodes studies have shown that "thicka sistas", secrete more juices than their skinny counterparts, so I don't know what the hell you talkin about lol!
O_O
Concerning your picture: It's comical that someone complained about the women pictures. Why with all the "love yourself" rhetoric flowing freely, people actually get offended that everyone isn't an airbrushed image of stunning beauty. As far as who represents "big gurls," whom would they rather see? Perhaps Jill Scott or wait…all the other pretty girls have since lost weight so the only one left is Sherri Sheppard and her unfunny self. Can't please everyone.
"The fact is, that yes black men do admire women with meat, but we admire our meat in the breast and buttocks only. We don't admire meat in the face or in the mid-section…"
On this I agree. Tocarra is always my go to example of a thick woman and I would hurt myself if I were in her presence, however even women with guts and back rolls still identify with thick, which is where the term is abused.
Even with the recent weight loss, would you still consider Tocarra "thick"? I'm trying to understand your definition of "thick." Her boobs are still big, but the rest of her, in my opinion, is skinny.
I know Toccara-she is an associate of mine as a result of being my older cousin’s BFF (we’re all from Dayton, OH). Toccara is a size 10 with G-sized breasts. While the fashion world considers her plus-sized, in the real world, her size 10 is average. And also, her stomach is completely flat-no rolls or anything.
I dunno…she’s bad as hell and my idea of thick that I would want. I would’ve taken her at her larger size to be honest because something about her look makes me want to wrap my arms around her (despite the fact she has an annoying voice). Something about her just says “woman.” Plus, I hate and refuse to try to imagine WTF size 10 is. You women have a f*cked up size charting system. How about you tell me what a size 10 waist in inches is so I can have a good idea where to start.
Sista'shave a lot of leeway before we start ca;lling them fat and they are abusing the hell out of it.
LMAO! This is ignorant, but funny as hell!
Big is beautiful? How about heart disease (number 1 killer of black women) and diabetes? How about physical disability? Discrimnation is wrong but edifying being overweight and obese is more dangerous.
Go ahead be big. Love your fat! Love the insulin injections and heart medication from age 35 and beyond!
Now see this would be my kinda reply. Remember me, the author of Why are Black Women so Big.
I don’t care how good you look on the outside. UNHEALTHY IS UNHEALTHY. There are girls injecting crap into their bodies and nearly dying and causing permanent damage in an effort to be “THICK”.
Then you got the Thick girls starving themselves and taking God know’s what diet pill to lose weight.
NEITHER PRACTICE IS HEALTHY. Black women are overweight more so than any other group of women because they use food like a crack head uses crack. FOR COMFORT. WE EAT TOO DAMN MUCH. And being “Thick” isn’t an excuse for this continued behavior.
I have relatives and buddies who were BORN with the curves they possess. They are considered “Phat” and “thick”. However, EACH OF THEM WORKS OUT AND EATS RIGHT. You thick girls that are just overweight stuffing yourselves into your rainbow slacks need to stop and take a look at your unhealthy practices and stop trying to be something you are not.
Is it really worth those extra health problems you may have just to TRY and have a booty like Buffie the body’s?
And men you should be ASHAMED of putting down women who were completely blessed in all areas. How would like you daughter to feel less than All because SHE AINT GOT A FATTY
“And men you should be ASHAMED of putting down women who were completely blessed in all areas. How would like you daughter to feel less than All because SHE AINT GOT A FATTY?”
I think that’s just the game. I mean a woman without a fatty is at a disadvantage, but that doesn’t mean she won’t/ can’t get a man, she probably has less options at the very most. I’ve been attracted to women just over a 100 pounds who were black, who had pretty faces and were in good shape. I mean I know a lot of in shape girls with the big breast and the phat booty, who didn’t use the Nicki Minaj method to get it.
Some people are born with advantages. Some guys are born into wealth and that increases their chances, some guys are born with the genes to be 6 ft 5, others 5 ft 2. As a man, you got to learn to accept your disadvantages and work harder to get what you want out of the other sex, a lot of women need to learn to do the same instead of eating their way into phat asses and big tits, which rarely ever works.
Nature might give you a disadvantage, but it doesn’t determine your success.
“Nature might give you a disadvantage, but it doesn’t determine your success.”
I like that
Thats the problem, some of us look at our bodies as “disadvantages” because we are lacking something. :-/
But that’s the law of nature. From an evolutionary standpoint, there are disadvantages associated with certain physical assests (or lack of). Certain physical attributes were perceived as indicators of good health and fertility. Granted, there is a lot of societal influences on beauty ideals, but the themes are the same. Physical appearance is central to getting a ‘mate’…. The difference now is that we have greater control in how we look. Butt injections, lipo, breast implants etc etc
Yes but I just hate put downs. You can have your preferences and admire what you admire but it shouldn’t be at the expense of others.
Imma start telling small peen dudes to keel themselves see how they like it lol
Some small girls can't take the D…just saying. U need a thicker girl who can handle it–that's issue number one.
Above that, yes, our sense of beauty is totally warped. But I think this goes beyond racial categories though. Ask how many white or Latino plus size female models do you see around here? And frankly, every white sitcom or movie and the woman always makes the comment about her butt getting big I just have to laugh because a big butt is certainly a desirable asset on most black women I know–partly because they know that black men like it!
But yes, we need to be aware that there are chubby chasers out here and I can only imagine what type of damage that does to big women who feel that this is the best that they can get: being someone's charity case. If you like big girls, that's fine. But if you don't, it's no use disparaging them because of it.
A lot of what you said cracked me up but this:
:But if you don’t, it’s no use disparaging them because of it.”
Was uber oh so true.
Girl, I’m soooo over this topic & many others (the natural vs relaxed, the light vs dark, black vs. white, single women vs. every-damn-body, etc)
OVER IT!
*agrees*
But yet I’m commenting. Guess I wish we focused more on HEALTH and not OUTWARD APPEARANCES.
Who cares what a person prefers physically, we should be more concerned with the health of our “bigger” sisters instead of accepting what they look like
I totally agree that we should be concerned with the health of big girls, but I have yet to see one “healthy” post/article discussing what they can do to change, only criticizing them. (specific eating plans, diets that work, gym machine that are most effective, lifestyle changes) It’s easy for folks to scream at you to lose weight, but it’s hard to do & it’s not effective! *not even a lil bit* And I know this personally because I’m in the process…
One website that I do get quality information from is http://blackgirlsguidetoweightloss.com. This sista was confident enough to post pics of before, progression, & after. I go here for meal recipes & at home exercises weekly.
There are a few entries on here helping people get healthy. Just hit up the search bar
I will definitely look into that…thanks…
I’ll help get the party started…
http://thefreshxpress.com/2010/06/reasons-why-we-justify-the-fat-let’s-come-up-with-some-solutions/
Health is extremely important. I am a plus sized young woman and God has blessed me with curves and little to no belly. I have found that Black, Latino and White men are attracted to thick women but the way you’re shaped has a whole lot to do with it. With that said, I realized that my family has a history of hypertension and diabetes and as such, have began working out to circumvent future health problems. The “big is beautiful” campaign is less about keeping plus sized women plus sized and is more about promoting self love and confidence. Additionally, just because you’re thin does not mean that you’re healthy. There are many thin men and women walking around who drop dead from heart attacks and other illnesses that are associated with larger people. I concur that the Black community needs to put more of an emphasis on promoting health and wellness. It’s a work in progress but I am sure that we will get there.
Oh…and I’m also done & over with the whole “Greek Life” BS…Clutch just posted another one on Monday….*rolls eyes*
“Some small girls can’t take the D…just saying. U need a thicker girl who can handle it–that’s issue number one.”
These comments are so stupid, meaningless and make no sense LMFAO
I really didn’t mean that comment to be vulgar, crass or meaningless. But ask around, you need a girl who’s not screaming and running away from you. But its no real tactful way to say something like that.
That has NOTHING TO DO WITH how much weight she has on her body. NONE AT ALL. TRUST ME ON THIS.
I heard the damn reverse actually, that slim girls CAN take it better. That’s why its STUPID lol
I hate it when dudes say that too. If lots of woman are saying that to you, it usually means you’re bad at sex or a selfish lover.
It’s a vagina. It only accommodates a certain length no matter how big you are. Drilling a hole into the bottom of it isn’t the business. That isht hurts!
Here’s an example of more “plus sized” ladies :
http://www.magxone.com/uploads/2010/01/Plus-Size-Models-V-Magazine-1.jpg
Shout out to the chicks (of all sizes) that do the Kegels though
Hi-larious! Love your post(s)!
Obviously, there’s a difference between thick and big. I define thick as being soft, fluffy almost, but if the woman really wanted to, she could tone up what she has. When I think of big, I think of sloppy and just fat folds all over.
I think big girls get a bad wrap sometimes because they try to rock skinny-girl things and overcompensate their attitude because they can’t wear Bebe, Limited, or Express. We all know the clothes for bigger girls are not sexy or super-appealing. There’s no sexy “big” version of a dress that say Melyssa Ford or Gabby Union wears. So big women are left to either look sloppy or squeeze into a size 12/14 knowing damn well they need a 18 or 20.
I look at attitudes and vibes that women give off when I think about sex appeal and approachability. Just because you’re skinny or thick doesn’t mean your attitude is hittin. Conversely, just because you’re big doesn’t mean you have to walk around all woe is me. Plus, like the old addage says, fat people can lose weight, but ugly is forever.
Far as the picture above, it’s real life. So the women who complained are probably the same women who say they want a thug with a Ph. D. Some people are never satisfied
I agree that some plus sized women are wearing clothes that are WAAAY too small. I disagree that there are no sexy/appealing clothes available for us. It may take a little more money or time to find them, but there are stores available that provide well fitting clothing for women sized 14 and above. Here’s an example: http://www.monifc.com/. She makes fabulous, multipurpose dresses for plus sized women. They can be a bit pricey but they are beautiful, flattering and made just for us.
I’m still of the opinion that men really don’t like fat chicks outside of fetishist. The basketball player analogy is an apt one because those are men who have a smorgasboard of choices and I guarantee out of the 400+ dudes in the NBA Precious isn’t represented once. Women can tell themselves fat is fabulous but the reality is your choices are limiting your possibilities.
Indeed!
I think there’s a connection between broke men and fat chicks.
lol
Unfortunately, words like thick and curvy are a euphemism for “fat” or “obese”- I knew it when I was reading some “love yourself” article somewhere and the author had called Gabourey Sidibe and Nicki Blonsky (“Hairspray”) “curvy”. That’s false. Neither those two chicks nor the chicks in the picture are thick or curvy. They’re overfat (not overweight*), morbidly obese even, and that’s unhealthy. It’s not attractive either- YEAH, I said it.
To be curvy classically means to have an hourglass figure (and we can agree that an hourglass has curves)- bust bigger than waist, waist smaller than hips. The word “thick” usually brings to mind having “meat on your bones”, but hopefully it’s mostly lean meat with fat for flavor because mas cellulite isn’t all that. I think it’s safe to say that black men identify with women they can tag these words on to. Now if they want to be chub chasers, by all means, let ‘em, but without a doubt their women are unhealthy. Sure, they may not have all those terrible heart dieases (or they may not know whether they do or not, even more terrible) but you’ve only got one skeleton- overload it with weight and you’re in for it.
* To be “overfat” means just that- having too much fat. One can be overweight but not have a lot of fat, i.e, athletes. They’re weight comes from muscle, which weights more than fat.
The european standard of beauty argument is overused in my opinion. If it was true King Magazine would be filled with pictures of Ally Mcbeal instead Melyssa Ford. The women deemed “beautiful” in the black community have varying sizes and body types, which differs greatly from the European standard which prefers rail thin women with giant breasts. In fact, The European standard of beauty seems to have a greater effect on white actresses than their black counterparts. Jessica Biel, Scarlett Johansson, and others have lost their curves to meet that hollywood standard of beauty.Tocarra and Jennifer Hudson lost weight more for health related reasons than from pressure to meet that standard.
I think plus sized men are at the same disadvantage as plus sized women. Luther with the S Curl, Gerald Levert, and Ruben Studdard knew how to play the right angle. Other larger men haven’t been as successful. In the end it doesn’t really matter how big you are if you’re confident then you’ll attract a mate
I’m hearing that Sofía Vergara (the Colombian mom on Modern Family) is plus sized. Funnily enough, she didn’t get roles in Hollywood until she became a brunette (she’s a natural blond).
Sofia Vergara is very attractive but she’s far from being plus sized.. That’s crazy
She’s CURVY
But so is Shakira and she weighs about 100 lbs *shrugs*
Also remember Toccara is “plus sized”.
To me plus sized means tall and curvy.
To fashion it’s taller than 5′ 9″ larger than size 8.
Sigh….as a small girl, I try to steer away from these convos but here goes….
I find it ironic that people were talking crap about the picture. They’re not hideous. It could a bad picture or maybe an off day. Anywho, anyone that isn’t the slim, blonde haired and blue eyed white chick has caught slack but I do agree that bigger people tend to get it the worse. Big=/= unhealthy or lazy. I think there is a way to motivate people without putting them down.
This article is very interesting. I believe that this is also a “teachable moment.” I believe “big girls” do get a bad wrap and a great deal of unnecessary judgment. Not everyone who is overweight are lazy and overeat. There are other reasons why people are overweight: taking medications, medical conditions, etc. I participated in the Race for the Cure this past weekend and to my amazement, there were big girls out there running, and some walking the 5K. Not all people that are overweight are unhealthy. I know several women that are overweight, and they don’t have high cholesterol, high blood pressure, or diabetes. Some even exercise daily. As a matter of fact, my father is overweight. He exercises daily at 0500 at the gym and runs on his lunch break. I know that men younger than him can’t even keep up with him. If anything, I believe that nutrition is the main factor. The actual science of combining foods to create the most effective balance for our bodies. We love our “soul food”, but it has to be revamped in order to be healthy. Essence magazine has great articles in the November issue. Dr. Roz, Dr. Ian Smith, Dr. Oz, Jeannette Jenkins, and Robert Ferguson do an excellent job in attempting to educate our people about the importance of balanced meals and exercise.
There’s a difference between overweight and overfat. You can be overweight but have a low fat content, which is the point. Muscle weighs more than fat, so your dad may be overweight- some may even call him chubby or what have you- but he is in better shape that most men, older and younger. Most athletes are overweight, but most athletes are NOT overfat. Being overfat is unhealthy- even slim folk can be overfat.
Has anyone noticed most native Africans are not fat?
They have won how many NYC marathons? I have lost count. Being fat for no reason is American. It ain’t Europes thing or Affrican genetics. We make crappy food that doesnt rot (twinkies and happy meals) its so nasty germs stay away.
Last our diet in as blacks was given to us as slaves. The masters weren’t thinking about middle age. He’ll even white ppl back then didn’t live that long.
So can we stop the being fat is genetic. Hell the only reason we dominate sports is slavery we were bred to be big and strong.
If a woman wants to be big that’s on her it has nothing to do with race it was her choice. I say this with more dead relatives from diabetes than in jail or dead friends combined.
Here’s a bigger shocker:
If you look at pictures from say 30-40 years ago…there weren’t too many fat people in a lot of them either. Matter of fact, I didn’t really start seeing as many larger people until recent years.
Point of the matter is that the food we eat has altered our bodies exponentially. Sedentary lifestyles and occupations have lead to the fattening of people, whereas back in the days you ate just enough food, walked many places and did some sort of moving around during the day. Now everybody has an office job in this crappy service industry society we have, so they are nothing but cubicle cows: given a 6×6 space to spend 8 hour days, access to snack foods and very little physical exertion.
CPT Callmatiy said: ‘If you look at pictures from say 30-40 years ago…there weren’t too many fat people in a lot of them either. Matter of fact, I didn’t really start seeing as many larger people until recent years.’
E. Reed responded with: ‘Was Hattie McDaniel the exception or “least-represented” in mainstream media?
I have to respectfully disagree with that statement.
Thank you, that’s what I was originally trying to say.
It’s “bad rap.” Not “bad wrap.”
LMFAO @ correcting a slang term
It’s actually BUM RAP which means “a bad reputation based on false assumptions or misunderstandings.”
But who cares
Man. What’s killer is I meant to change that when I first saw it. SMH. Appreciate it.
No biggie, I know how it is! I just had the image of a big chick in an ill-fitting body scarf lol
Study: Many Obese People Think They Look Great the Way They Are
and black people especially….
http://healthland.time.com/2010/10/19/study-many-obese-people-think-they-look-great-the-way-they-are/?hpt=C2
Its a tough situation to be in… should obese people not be self-confident? Who are we to tell someone they don’t look good? As far as black people leading the way… that’s just my people. You know how we get down, we think we’re fly no matter what.
Are you being facetious?
In the second part of the comment, yep.
What I find most amazing is that people get so up in arms about overweight black women because it’s an unhealthy lifestyle but neglect the other destructive behaviors that aren’t always so obvious like smoking, drinking, excessively, etc. Obesity can’t be hidden so overweight individuals are an easy target, but I think if the thin people of the world were to approach the subject with a little more sensitvity perhaps the supposed good intentions would be better received.
@SW has brought up the issue of self confidence and healthy self-esteem/mental health numerous times when it comes to this subject and that is a critical aspect. While I do think that sometimes the Diva, I’m big and I’m beautiful attitude is a defense mechanism, if you can wake up every day comfortable with who you are, not because you are pretending to rebel against the American standard of beauty, but because you genuinely like yourself as you are, then I think that is far more important than “limiting” your dating options or potentially shortening your life because you MAY be unhealthy by being overweight.
Looks fade/change with each day that we age, but one’s sense of self worth does not automatically diminish over time. The importance of mental health should not be overlooked when choosing to bash women who aren’t suicidal because they carry extra weight. Weight is a sensitive issue for women anywhere from 5 to 100 pounds overweight and when something that is supposedly of utmose health concern is approached in such a callous manner and belittled to issues of wearing Baby Phat and calling yourself thick when you’re really not, it’s clear that health isn’t the real issue at all.
LOVE IT!
The problem is when obese women call themselves thick or voluptuous. That’s just a lie, you’re fat.
Finance does matter because guys with means have choices, just like women who are attractive have choices.
I am fat, meaning that I do have rolls on my body, flabby arms and the whole nine yards. But please do not ms-understand… I am the farthest thing from SLOPPY and i guarentee that most of the men who have commented here would consider talking to me, or as I have recently learned that men do, have already had sex with me in their minds. I am not saying that fat, or flubber as I like to call it is the most sexy thing, I have personally had to take my body for what it is. It represents many things like 1.culture- those of us who are of African decent (pretty much all black ppl. lol) know that in the most traditional sense, being heavy is a representation of wealth. If youre big, then you can afford to eat. 2. Victory- my rolls are an indication of tremendous weight loss! an indication of the fact that I have been able to challenge the idea of “fat people eating too much,” and success in more healthy eating. 3. challenge- Exercise, or committing to being very uncomfortable (being embarrassed because of shortcomings, being in pain as a result of different activity) to acheive a goal is one of the hardest things for ANYONE to do. It is something that can cause fear and something that must be overcome.
Regardless, FAT is not the same as SLOPPY. I outdress most of the skinny chicks that I’ve encountered, I have an impeccable sense of fashion and style, I can walk in a stiletto with more ease than most skinny ladies that I’ve encountered and I know how to purchase clothing in my size (where the lack of example to doing so for most plus sized women can be attributed to the media and what they would have the public THINK is beauty), and there are plenty of lines that do offer those beautiful options in the size that these women need, they just dont know where to look and designers are not reaching out to their audience.
When it comes to the professional athletes, just because they are forced to live in such a materialistic and superficial world, I’m sure that many of them have lackluster relationships with people and are secretly in love with one of their fat friends, and fight with themselves because they dont know why. They probably secretly wish to find someone just like “her” or wish that she would hurry up and loose weight because she is one of the most beautiful (inside and out) people that they know. I’d even say that many of them are loosing out on the long term benefits of love and relationships because of trying to adhere to what society says “looks” like a great couple.
As far as that picture, they are not hideous, but they are a poor example of plus sized women. There are much better options.
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