“I have hidden Your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you.” – Psalm 119:11
Everybody knows a Christian who has had sex or is having sex outside of marriage. Until recently, I believed Christians accepted that sex before marriage was wrong, but some continued to do it, believing that God’s grace would cover it. But now that we’ve gotten to a point where some in the body of Christ don’t even accept that pre-marital sex is a sin in the first place, it’s really time that we as Christians start to filter out the lies we’ve been told — and the lies we tell ourselves to soothe our guilt about sexual sin. As the Church, as the unified body of Christ, we must start talking about sex and the stronghold that it has on us, our friends, our neighbors, and our children when it is perverted outside of the safety of marriage. Because people who do not have the interest and purity of our souls at heart are talking about it, and they are influencing us, as opposed to us bringing the truth to the world, as God has required of us. It’s time to pump the brakes, break out the Word of God, and figure out what He really has to say about sex — and, most importantly, why He says it.
I. Pre-Marital Sex is SIN. Sex outside of marriage (i.e. “fornication” in the King James Version, “sexual immorality” in the NIV, pick your translation) is not something God glosses over in the Bible. “Fornication,” “fornications,” and “fornicators,” are all described as sin at least 43 times in the Bible, stretching from the Old Testament all the way to the end of the New Testament in the book of Revelation, where it is mentioned 12 times in 10 different scriptures (Rev. 2:14, 20, 21; 9:21, 14:8; 17:2, 4; 18:3, 9; 19:2). This, brothers and sisters, is what our high school English teacher would call a running theme.
Here are some examples, just so we’re all clear that God considers sex outside of marriage a sin:
It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God; and that in this matter no one should wrong or take advantage of a brother or sister. The Lord will punish all those who commit such sins, as we told you and warned you before. For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life. Therefore, anyone who rejects this instruction does not reject a human being but God, the very God who gives you his Holy Spirit. (1 Thessalonians 4:3-8 NIV)
Paul also warns us not to trick ourselves; if we continue in pre-marital sex without asking for forgiveness and turning away from that sin, we are on our way straight to Hell:
[D]o you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor men who have sex with men nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. (1 Corinthians 6:9,10 NIV) (see here for more on what inheriting the kingdom of God means.)
Hopefully, the easy part — identifying the sin — is now out of the way (and if not, read my post “Single, Saved & Sexin’?” Not in the Name of Christ, You Don’t!). Now on to the why behind God’s “no marriage, no sex” rule.
II. Why Doesn’t God Want Me Sexin’ Outside of Marriage?
A. We Hurt God. Imagine a man who loved you so much he threw himself in front of a bus to protect you from being hit. Imagine him sacrificing everything he could possibly sacrifice just to show you how much he loved you. He marries you and commits himself to you. His only desires are for you to feel loved, validated, secure, at peace and full of joy with Him. But, for some reason, he isn’t enough. You walk out your husband and find what you think you’re missing in Tom, Dick, Harry, Sam, Tyrone…whomever else, really. None of them satisfy you, none of them really care about your soul, but for some reason, you want them and you reject the husband whose love for you and devotion to you is pure. This is what we do to God every time we choose to have sex outside of marriage. He considers this adultery — we are cheating on God. Throughout the Bible, God describes His relationship with us as that of a devoted husband and wife. One of my favorite examples of this is found in the book of Jeremiah where God says:
“‘I remember the devotion of your youth, how as a bride you loved me and followed me through the wilderness, through a land not sown. Israel was holy to the LORD, the firstfruits of his harvest…” (Jeremiah 2:2,3 )
Remember how excited and devoted to God you were when you first got saved? We wanted to live right and do right and please God with all of our hearts. Then, we went right back down hill:
“See how you behaved in the valley; consider what you have done. You are a swift she-camel running here and there, a wild donkey accustomed to the desert, sniffing the wind in her craving— in her heat who can restrain her? Any males that pursue her need not tire themselves; at mating time they will find her. (Jeremiah 2:23,24)
Did God just call us she-camels in heat? ::shrinks down into seat:: And it gets worse, just in case you think God is cool with us cheating on Him by having sex with someone He did not ordain for us to have sex with:
Therefore the showers have been withheld, and no spring rains have fallen. Yet you have the brazen look of a prostitute; you refuse to blush with shame. (Jeremiah 3:2)
“Does a young woman forget her jewelry, a bride her wedding ornaments? Yet my people have forgotten me, days without number. How skilled you are at pursuing love! Even the worst of women can learn from your ways. On your clothes is found the lifeblood of the innocent poor, though you did not catch them breaking in. Yet in spite of all this you say, ‘I am innocent; he is not angry with me.’ But I will pass judgment on you because you say, ‘I have not sinned.’” (Jeremiah 2:32-35)
Welp. There it is. But let’s not kid ourselves into thinking God is speaking only of pre-marital sex — we cheat on God every time we put anything or anyone above Him. Whenever we value the opinion of our friends or family or co-workers, or strangers on the street above God’s opinion of us, we have made those people, our reputations, our fame, our fortune, our prestige to be more important to us than God is. When we pursue sex outside of marriage, we’re making the statement that our desire for this person who is not our spouse is more important to us than pleasing God, and He will call us out for it, and punish us accordingly.
But most of all, we hurt God, because He bought us. We belong to Him, and therefore, He should have control over our bodies. Paul warns in 1 Corinthians 6:13, 18-20 (The Message):
The body, however, is not meant for sexual immorality but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body…[D]idn’t you realize that your body is a sacred place, the place of the Holy Spirit? Don’t you see that you can’t live however you please, squandering what God paid such a high price for? The physical part of you is not some piece of property belonging to the spiritual part of you. God owns the whole works. So let people see God in and through your body.
When Christ died on the cross for our sins, He purchased our souls. When we willingly accept that we are depraved and need Him to save us from sin, we are acknowledging Christ’s purchase of us and make a commitment to let Him take control of our lives. Since He created all things, knows all things, and is all powerful in all things, it is so much better for us to cede control to Him, instead of going our own way, which will lead to destruction, like a blind man driving up and around a mountain. So because we give Him control, we cannot squander ourselves with pre-marital sex, because, as Paul says, He paid too high a price for us.
Furthermore, if Christ can sacrifice His own body for our sake, why can we not sacrifice our own bodies for His? “I tell you the truth, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him.” (John 13:16)
B. We Hurt Ourselves: Sexual sins can cause a host of physical damage to our bodies, from lifetime sexually transmitted diseases (STDs), to unwanted pregnancies. Though 99.9% effective, condoms do not protect all areas where STDs can transfer. But most of all, as Pastor Rick Warren says, “There’s no condom for your heart.” Your soul, either, for that matter. Sexual sins defile our spirit. As Christ explained in Matthew 15: 18-20:
But the things that come out of a person’s mouth come from the heart, and these defile them. For out of the heart come evil thoughts—murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander. These are what defile a person…”
Sexual immorality begins in the heart (our emotions) and defiles our spirit. The defiling occurs when we form soul ties with the person/people we sleep with outside of marriage. Paul warns us in 1 Corinthians 6:16-18 (Message Bible):
There’s more to sex than mere skin on skin. Sex is as much spiritual mystery as physical fact. As written in Scripture, “The two become one.” Since we want to become spiritually one with the Master, we must not pursue the kind of sex that avoids commitment and intimacy, leaving us more lonely than ever—the kind of sex that can never “become one.” There is a sense in which sexual sins are different from all others. In sexual sin we violate the sacredness of our own bodies, these bodies that were made for God-given and God-modeled love, for “becoming one” with another.
What it means to be “one flesh,” with someone is not just the physical act of sex, you also join spirits. Whatever spirits we’re carrying with us (whether they be joyful or destructive spirits) they transfer and swap with whoever we’re sleeping with. Do you suddenly have abandonment issues that you never dealt with before? Are you still thinking about someone you slept with years ago even though you don’t care anything about that person? When we allow other people to enter our spirit, we take on their baggage and they take on ours. Whether we are consciously aware of it, or not, if we do not break those soul ties, these people will be with us forever, and we will be with them. (read more about soul ties, here).
C. We Hurt The Other Person: By acknowledging that when we sin we are separating ourselves from God, we must also acknowledge that when we have sex without marriage, we are involving another person in our sin, which means we are helping them to be separate from God, as well. And we also create soul ties within them, transferring to them whatever is haunting us, whether it be depression, anxiety, deep-seated anger, or whatever we may be struggling with.
Some like to say that if they are in a committed relationship and they both love each other, then it is o.k. for them to engage in sex, because it’s “safe.” But how much can you really love a person if it is more important for you to meet your own sexual desires than it is to ensure you cause no harm to the soul of your mate?
Christ said, “no greater love has any man than to lay down his life for a friend.” We are commissioned by Christ to sacrifice ourselves for the good of our neighbors, whether we are close to them, or just met them that night. In love for that person’s soul, do not harm him or her by helping to defile a soul and aid a separation between God and that person.
D. We Hurt Our Future Spouse: “Therefore, what God has joined together, let man not separate” (Matthew 19:6) This scripture lets us know that there are people God joins together — and people He doesn’t. If we choose to join ourselves with someone who is not intended for us by God, we are damaging our future spouse and jeopardizing our future marriage, if God has indeed called us to be married, one day.
We may be too distracted with other people and things that we end up delaying time with our intended person. We may find our intended person, and then cause chaos and confusion to enter into the marriage because we still have soul ties with other people that have not been broken, causing us to be unable to fully commit or give ourselves to our spouse because we don’t have 100% of ourselves to give! We’ve divied ourselves up over the years.
By having sex before marriage, we’ve also adopted bad habits that we will carry into our marriage. If our relationships weren’t Christ-centered (no matter how much you two went to church together or read the Bible together), why would you think your marriage would be? Moreover, we’ve internalized a complete misunderstanding about sex: that it’s all about us.
III. What Can We Do About It?
A. Understand that Sex is NOT bad. Too often we misinterpret God’s desire for us to keep our bodies holy as a sign that sex itself is unholy and wrong. Even if we do wait for marriage, having the fulfilling sex life that God intended for married couples to have will be difficult if we are still trying to shake this misunderstanding that sex is bad. Sex is a wonderful gift from God given to married couples to enjoy and to spiritually connect with each other and with Him. Know that sin only arises when God is not included in your sex life. Where there is light there cannot also be darkness, God will not dwell in your sin, as you engage in it outside of the bonds of marriage. But in your married life, let sex be an offering of praise to God for His amazing creation — the human body — and His ability to join two people together as one spirit, in love.
B. Transfer Your Desires from Sinful to Holy. In addition to misinterpreting sex as “unholy” in and of itself, we can also be confused by what to do with our sexual desires when they enter our minds. The knee-jerk reaction may be to suppress these desires or ignore them. But by ignoring them, we may be setting the same subconscious standard for what to do with sexual desires that we set when we deem it “bad.” Suppressed sexual desire in a marriage is clearly unhealthy, but this pattern can be difficult to break if we’ve trained ourselves to suppress when our desires arise. But how can we maintain desire without sinning? We simply have to transfer an unholy desire to a holy desire. When we are overcome with desire for someone who is not our spouse or to be satisfied in a way that is unholy in our singleness, STOP having sex, STOP masturbation, and instead, pray for your future spouse that you may not have met yet. Write your spouse love letters about how you are waiting for him. Read the Song of Solomon and be excited about waiting for that kind of God-ordained love. But, seek first the kingdom of God, and ALL other things will be given to you. Cry out to God: “Transfer this unholy desire to a desire for more of You. Let me yearn for you, and seek after you, and thirst for you more than I thirst for sin. Let me crave righteousness and a closeness with you more than I crave unholiness.” Isaiah 58:11 says that “the Lord will guide you and continually satisfy your desire.” He will do just what He says.
C. Break Soul Ties: If we have slept with someone outside of marriage, we have to acknowledge what God already knows about us. By confessing this sin to God, we acknowledge the impact that the person has had on our soul and the impact we have had on the person’s soul. Christ says in John 14:13: “And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son.” Ask in the name of Jesus that He break all soul ties that you have as a result of sexual sin, and pray for those whose souls you have also defiled, that they might seek God and His perfect way and turn from sin, as well.
D. Recommit to God: It is never too late to get back up again after you’ve fallen. Just like when Adam and Eve sinnedin the garden, God did not turn away from them! He went looking for them, saying “Where are you?! Why do you hide from Me?” We can’t hide from God, anyway. He sees us. He already knows what we’ve done and what we will do in the future. But He loves us so much and is waiting for us with open arms to come back to Him and obey His way — a path that is righteous, and holy, and for our own good. Christ said “Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me.” He says we will not only eat with Him, but He will eat with us, as well! He wants this to be a two-way street. He wants us close to Him, and He desires a relationship with us above all things. Will you desire a relationship with Him above all things, and turn away from sexual sin?
Jesus said, “if you abide in my word you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” (John 8:31-32). Recommit to God by reading His word. This is how He communicates with us, and this is how we learn what He requires of us, what He likes, what He doesn’t like, and what He won’t tolerate. This is how we can learn to please Him. It is His blog with His whole life story right there for you to know everything about. Will you scour it like you do other blogs?
God’s rules give freedom from sin, not punishment, and bring peace to the mind, body, and soul, not harm. Chase after God. Desire Him more. Seek His will and allow Him to change your heart to reflect His. There is nobody greater than Him, and nothing worth sacrificing His perfect love for.
Article by DCDistrictDiva
The DC District Diva is a communications director, social media consultant, freelance writer, DC resident, and author of the award-winning blog DCDistrictDiva.com. Like her on Facebook at Facebook.com/DCDistrictDiva and follow her on Twitter at twitter.com/dcdistrictdiva
DCDistrictDiva has written 13 article(s) for us.
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Love Love Love. I’d been contemplating discussing this myself, but it gets pretty lonely up on this soapbox…
You picked perfect scriptures to support your stance, (I really hope the people reading this miss you on the whole “Not all people are Christians” deal. You should have put a disclaimer: If you aren’t a Christian or don’t believe in the truth of the bible, this is not the post for you.) I also think you managed to pull this off without sounding accusatory, or holier than though.
I actually started the whole praying for my future husband and writing him love letters thing about a year and a half ago. I laugh at myself for doing it, but it’s sooo super comforting. I write to him about new recipes I’ve learned and tried (failure or success), or about how much I want to hold him, etc. I plan to give him one on our wedding day, and divvy out the rest for those difficult times when I just want to remind him (and myself) that I loved him before I even knew him.
I pray to God that he’s safe, and if he’s having a really good life that he remembers to give God glory, and if he’s having a rough spell of it, I pray that He’s seeking God’s face. I pray that God reveals to me the kind of wife he needs me to be, and I even pray that God give him a “hug” for me.
It’s all pretty lame, and ironically, I think the man I marry will probably think it’s a little too “quirky” for his tastes, but it gets me through being single, and (by God’s grace) keeps me from using my body in inappropriate ways.
Good post.
Beautiful!! And not lame, at all!! Blessings, CD! Keep trusting Him.
An excellent blog. I was just talking to my mother and sister about this same subject. Our conversation began in response to a televised sermon, ” I Need Help” by Bishop Noel Jones. In many churches, sex is a taboo subject-the only thing is taught is don’t do it. I learned the hard way. All is not lost. There is a level of joy in being celibate. There were three books the started me one my journey: the Bible, “No More Sheets”, ” Single, Saved & Having Sex.” It was the latter that gave in-depth instruction about soul-ties and the strongholds masturbation creates. For me, I learned to rethink how I interact with men. Not looking at them as sex objects, but another human being with thoughts and feelings. In the age where “jump-offs” are a norm, there is much training to be done for our youth, singles, etc. Thank you for shedding light on a much needed subject.
I LOVE this article! John 8:31-32 . That is all.
I got to the first bullet point and stopped.
Sex is fun. Should be had responsibly.
#ontothenextone
i just hit the like button
sorry, I just think this post was full of HORRIBLE exegesis, a conflation of scripture and various theologies to support this Victorian idea of family life and marriage.
And this is why the black religious culture is keeping black women single. smh.
This entire article, per usual when we have this discussion, says nothing about people who “God has ordained” to be single. Honestly, they’re supposed to go their whole life not having sex? Bollocks, I say!
And it posits as though marriage is something everyone is supposed to be moving toward. It doesn’t discuss persons born transgendered, it totally doesn’t included the LGBT community. This type of hardline Christian rhetoric I totally disagree with.
“This type of hardline Christian rhetoric I totally disagree with.’….this is why i ‘hit” the like button.
she lost me at this point, “As the Church, as the unified body of Christ, we must start talking about sex and the stronghold that it has on us, our friends, our neighbors, and our children when it is perverted outside of the safety of marriage.”….i scrolled down to the comments then moved on….
as one who is not moving toward marriage i saw no need for me to read on.
I was really done after I saw we were gonna have to read quoted scriptures.
I don’t usually use biblical scriptures to support a point. It presupposes that to quote scripture is to summarily end a discussion. Couldn’t disagree more.
“It doesn’t discuss persons born transgendered, it totally doesn’t included the LGBT community.”
…The post may not, but the bible surely does..
You’re right, there are biblical scripture that do: it doesn’t include them in the Kingdom of God; it considers them marginalized and outsiders. As far as biblical scriptures concerning marriage go, the LGBT community have no sexual rights in accordance with “kingdom living.” smh
it talks about the LGBT when it says “Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor men who have sex with men nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.
Well i guess it didnt mention the lesbian community….
The “Men who have sex with men” in the original Hebrew text were not the homosexuals of today. Those men went into pagan temples and paid male prostitutes for sex. Also the idea that this book in the Bible is a letter from Paul giving his ideas and standards of living, totally take this out of the “well God said” category. I’m just saying.
Just as in the same breath God instructed the children of israel (Leviticus Chp.18) that men shall not lie with men….did that not come from his own mouth?….IJS
The same breath?
What the Hebrew Bible says Yahweh said in Leviticus is not the same breath that Paul writes over in Romans and in 1 Corinthians.
Would not agree that both have the same poinant ideal..were not the apostles filled with holy spirit and charged with the duties of spreading the gospel along with christ (the word) and his teachings..
*would you not*
Leviticus was written to a specific group of people in a certain time and Paul’s various epistles were written to different communities of faith as well. Leviticus was written without any knowledge of the personhood of Jesus, and Paul’s epistles were. Both had different theologies and summarily had different christologies–one being non-existent.
“Leviticus was written without any knowledge of the personhood of Jesus, and Paul’s epistles were. Both had different theologies and summarily had different christologies–one being non-existent.”
Have to disagree with you there (John 1:1)..if that verse be true (which it is) jesus was there from the beginning…I understand what your saying in terms of the mosaic law during that time, however with jesus appearance during the new testament, he was not there to do away with the law, his was the fulfillment of the law under the ospisis of grace…basically meaning under the ospisis of mosaic law homosexuality equaled outright abomination, however under the ospisis of grace it is not so much the action as it is thought (sin nature)…the epistles were written to the church which were the new believers or followers of christ…one was parallel to the other…just in the same that God ordained a man and woman union so did Jesus fulfill and re-affirm that same ordinance in the new testament (Matthew Chp. 19)…that’s why I made the statement earlier…”relative or not, the dividing rod is its truth and the basic understandings of what is right and what is wrong” (2 tim 3:16)
i dont’ have the time (at work) nor do i want to bore you with details, but i thought about your comment when asked by a friend what she should do with a guy she is seeing. let me just say black religion is keeping black women single and in “relationships” that are clearly not healthy.
me talking to myself as i listen to her…”so you staying in this mess b/c god told you so….ooook”….smh
You might not, but your friend may be interested in another post I’ve written: “Twisted: Why Nothing About Jesus is Keeping You Single and Lonely,” found here: http://www.dcdistrictdiva.com/?p=704
I have a post for everything!!
Check out DCDistrictdiva.com. I’d love to talk with you about these issues!
do you have a post for a woman who has stayed in a one side relationship for eight years. only hears from the guy “after dark” her words not mine and he shows her no support in the things she has done in her life over those eight years. why does she stay b/c god told her he needs her support. it is not my place to speak on what god says to her, but i can’t see god saying stay in that……no, i can’t…i’m smh….
Well I just buried my 30-year-old cousin whom I love more than life, so clearly we don’t always understand what God is doing or see everything that He sees — He’s omnipotent, omniscient, omnipresent. We’re finite. So, not understanding what God is telling us or why He’s telling us to do something should not be the standard for determining whether God actually said it. But as for your friend, if she’s married to the guy, there is a completely different set of obligations and standards than for someone you’re just dating (or semi-dating, based on your description). I have written posts about relationships I’ve pursued under the guise of Jesus (i.e. “Jesus wants me to”) that were really all about ME and what I wanted, and not about Him at all (ex. http://www.dcdistrictdiva.com/?p=1094). I can’t say what’s happening in your friend’s situation, but people definitely use Christ and Christianity as a way to do things they want to do that have absolutely no basis in the Bible. If you can’t find a cross-section of scriptures to back up what you’re saying, and the life of Christ to support the spirit behind what you’re saying, then odds are, you just made it up and God’s nowhere in it. I’m writing a “husband checklist” and a “wife checklist” post soon that will help lay out Biblically the qualities one should look for in a husband and wife. If you’re friend’s not married to the guy, maybe looking at that post will help her out. I always announce new posts on Twitter @DCDistrictDiva if you want to be on the look out for it to pass it along. Thanks for reading!!
Oh yeah, I just thought of another post I did. “What to do when he’s just not that into you.” sounds applicable: http://www.dcdistrictdiva.com/?p=40
Excellent post. I’m always curious the stance someone has to somebody that maybe has no plans on getting married in the near future for one reason or the other (or not at all). All of this is assumptive of the fact that people will end of married sooner or later. Could it be proclaimed that if one doesn’t marry that person does not deserve the intimacy of s*x in God’s eyes? Or if one’s desire for marriage is on the low end of the totem pole does it make that person less of a Christian?
Assuming people’s first preference is staying within their own race when finding a long-term partner, I see this to be an interesting dynamic for black women in general due to all the “stats” about women out numbering men and the number of quality men, etc…(even down to a scale of only those who are Christians and follow the bible to a tee). This is an unfortunate reality today (not saying it can’t change in the future), but at the same time God has a plan for everyone is the counter…which I believe. Oh well…food for thought.
Good article….It’s rare to find a topic dealing with the intricacies of pre-marrital sex and the consequences of it. I think for believers and non-believers it is hard to grasp the message since so many of us are use to bypassing what the word says in favor of doing our own thing and suffering the consequences later.
The “Word” says a lotta things.
That is true, but the many truths that it speaks are straight to the point…
Yeah, but truth is relative. And still that doesn’t speak to the wrong things that are found within the biblical text.
Well honestly, that is up to you if you accept its teachings or not…i can’t be a judge or jury one way or the other….as for my stance, I believe totally in the truths taught within the bible and I accept it fully…relative or not, the dividing rod is its truth and the basic understandings of what is right and what is wrong…what we do today in society is say that there is no wrong, and every person’s way is right and whatever he/she does should be considered acceptable..
Thanks everyone for reading and commenting! I’m definitely talking to those folks who are curious about what the Bible has to say about sex. Hope you were blessed!
Good job for posting and supporting your reasons with Biblical scriptures. Different post, I can say that.
I just think you showed that the biblical text has very different approaches to understanding sex and understanding marriage over different periods of time. About the only thing it seems that the Bible, as collection of books, agrees on with the topics of sex and marriage, is that it was understood through the lens of patriarchy.
Dude, if you don’t believe in the Bible, that is your God-given free-will choice. For those who do or who are interested to learn, I hope they are better informed as a result of this article. My next “Twisted” post will be on why nothing about Jesus is anti-Feminist. If you’re interested, I’ll let you know when it’s posted. Have a great day.
I agree with a lot that’s in the Bible. To be specific, I just disagree with your interpretation of it. But, given the institution of denominations, it’s common to have disagreements with regards to biblical interpretation. I just really, REALLY think that this approach to understanding sex and marriage isn’t practical and anachronistic to our current times.
Nothing personal against you. I just disagree with the point you’re making.
As far as Jesus not being an anti-Feminist, sounds like I would prolly agree with you.
I don’t take your criticism personally, after all, I didn’t write the Bible
I find the wisdom and instruction of the Bible to be timeless. As Ecclesiastes 1:9 reads: “What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun.” If you can imagine a scenario that God hasn’t already anticipated, then you’re greater than I thought 
If you want a god that conforms to what you want and what you desire above what He wants and He desires, then the Bible isn’t going to be for you, but there are plenty of other belief systems that will accommodate that. I’ve researched / tried other beliefs (including Christian Atheism- where you believe in God, but not in anything He says) and none brought me peace, validation, or satisfaction. But that is my God-given, free-will choice.
Christian Atheism?
That sounds….
……
…..
ok.
I’m a Christian, and I do not believe God authored the bible, if anything I view the bible for what it is: an interpretation of God’s messages and will. I think people who say the bible is the word of God are simply repeating what they’ve been indoctrinated to say from the time of the Romans took control of the church. Many theologians, whose whole lives have been to study and master the bible, have said that the bible has several inconsistencies, I doubt our God is an “inconsistent God”, don’t you.
I think everything that we do is based on the relationship we have with God, and the Holy Spirit tells you what’s right or wrong, not some book that was funded by King James, a suspected homosexual I might add, but we won’t go there lol.
2 Timothy 3:16 “All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives. It corrects us when we are wrong and teaches us to do what is right.” So if someone is “repeating” what they heard, then whoever they heard it from is quoting the Bible. There are tons of scriptures to support that the Bible is God’s word and His laws and instructions for life. But again, that won’t be helpful to you if you don’t believe the Bible is the infalliable word of God. Idk, kinda kills the convo for me. I can’t argue with you about that. You believe in it or you don’t, and that’s your God-given free-will choice. Be blessed!
Also, I’m going to review a book called “The Christian Atheist” on my site, soon. Simply fascinating. I’d definitely recommend checking it out.
“All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives. It corrects us when we are wrong and teaches us to do what is right.”
Does that include all the books written by Timothy himself, and the books written after his which are written in the Bible? I mean how can you say something is inspired by God, if it hasn’t even been written yet? And how do we know he’s referring to what we’re reading today, when it’s quite understandable that he didn’t have access to the bible we have today, which wasn’t first translated until the 1?
There’s a word in that quote that you should pay attention to, it’s the word “inspired.” Inspired only means to influence; God influenced Timothy to write what he wrote, he didn’t “tell him what to write.” As we live today, and have seen first hand that there are many preachers who have been inspired by God (i.e. Eddie Long), but just because they’ve been inspired, doesn’t mean they are doing God’s will.
If you do believe that God told these people what to write, how to write, and when to write, please point out in the Bible where God makes such an announcement to any of the apostles, prophets, or judges.
Revelation 1: 9 I, John, your brother and companion in the suffering and kingdom and patient endurance that are ours in Jesus, was on the island of Patmos because of the word of God and the testimony of Jesus. 10 On the Lord’s Day I was in the Spirit, and I heard behind me a loud voice like a trumpet, 11 which said: “Write on a scroll what you see and send it to the seven churches: to Ephesus, Smyrna, Pergamum, Thyatira, Sardis, Philadelphia and Laodicea.” And the entire book of Revelation is what God told John to write. The list goes on and on of places where God said “write this and nothing but.” I’d definitely encourage you to research this issue and find the answers for yourself; that is the best way to learn. Also, definitely pray to God for understanding while you’re researching and reading the Bible. Proverbs 2:1-15 is a good start:
1 My son, if you accept my words
and store up my commands within you,
2 turning your ear to wisdom
and applying your heart to understanding—
3 indeed, if you call out for insight
and cry aloud for understanding,
4 and if you look for it as for silver
and search for it as for hidden treasure,
5 then you will understand the fear of the LORD
and find the knowledge of God.
6 For the LORD gives wisdom;
from his mouth come knowledge and understanding.
7 He holds success in store for the upright,
he is a shield to those whose walk is blameless,
8 for he guards the course of the just
and protects the way of his faithful ones.
9 Then you will understand what is right and just
and fair—every good path.
10 For wisdom will enter your heart,
and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul.
11 Discretion will protect you,
and understanding will guard you.
12 Wisdom will save you from the ways of wicked men,
from men whose words are perverse,
13 who have left the straight paths
to walk in dark ways,
14 who delight in doing wrong
and rejoice in the perverseness of evil,
15 whose paths are crooked
and who are devious in their ways.”
This covers Long, and every other crooked person or deceiving person (wrote a post on Long, here: http://www.dcdistrictdiva.com/?p=1796). Through reading the Bible and daily communion with God you will be able to discern who to trust and who not to trust. God bless you in your search!! I’ll leave you with Jeremiah 29:10-13:”10 This is what the LORD says: “When seventy years are completed for Babylon, I will come to you and fulfill my good promise to bring you back to this place. 11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 YOU WILL SEEK ME AND FIND ME WHEN YOU SEEK ME WITH ALL OF YOUR HEART. 14 I will be found by you,” declares the LORD, “and will bring you back from captivity.” (emphasis added)
Well actually slow your roll. Revelations, is a book of visions where John was guided by an angel and told things that were supposed to be in the future. And he wrote them, and they were added to the collection of books that would become the bible. That is still an interpretation of what he saw…as I said earlier: God didn’t write it himself.
You see the truth is, and you’re alluding to it, but you just don’t know how to acknowledge it due to all the indoctrination that you had as a kid, is that only true words come through God “directly.” He has the wisdom, not the bible. That’s why you can find Atheists, Muslims, Agnostics and even Christians who’ve read the bible cover to cover, and don’t believe in it or don’t believe in many parts of it.
You see I believe as the Bible says that “One shouldn’t put their faith in Man.” And seeing my experience, seeing the role the “church” played in the enslavement of black people like yourself, I think those words are truer than anything else and black people, more so than any other people, should be wary of them.
The bible was written my men, inspired by God, just as the pope is inspired by God, and the Priests who rape little boys are inspired by God…just because you’re inspired by Him doesn’t mean that you’re doing what he wants you to do.
That’s why we pray, and God speaks to us, and really the only truth that exists, in this crazy world we live in are the direct words from God, everything else is CORRUPTIBLE, because man is what he is.
Using the same source to support the source is logic only applied to the Bible and religion. It’s like saying “Green is the color green, because it’s green.”
That’s bad logic. We all know that. No point arguing with religious persons who can’t see that. It’s an exercise in futility as I’m sure they see the case with the one who’s engaging them as well.
You’re probably right, but that if any people should be logical about Christianity, it’s black people. Unfortunately, we’re the most unchallenging people of religious indoctrination, that’s why you still see White Jesuses in black churches, but not in any other racial groups churches.
@TheUppityNegro, you said “on to the next one” about 24 hours ago, but you’re still here.
@2mques I engaged you because I thought you had real questions that you were curious about the answers to. I didn’t make assumptions about the way you were raised or why you made the decisions you made about what it is you believe. What I will not do is debate my faith with anyone. As I said, if you believe great. If you have questions, great. If you don’t believe and have no questions and no interest in learning about what the Bible says, that’s kind of the end of the conversation. Good day
@dcdistrictdiva
Your faith is in God, I never challenged that. If I say I believe in Aliens, that doesn’t mean I have faith in them. I’ve challenged your belief that the bible is the word of God, that’s all. If you don’t want to respond to that, say it, but don’t victimize yourself or make this out to be an assault on your faith, unless you worship the bible…Then I’ll gladly apologize.
good article…. *salute*
Love. This.
Thank you! =)
Ok. So you mean to tell me that the same God who put two naked people in a garden and let them have at it expects me to wait until some civil ceremony. There was no religion or wedding ceremonies when Adam and Eve hooked up. How can it be a sin not to wait on the traditions of man? If God wanted us to wait for marriage he would have said so and he would have set the example with the first two.
And let’s not act like former African slaves and descendants of slaves here in the U.S. were running down to a county courthouse to get a legal document to consummate their marriage vows.
No.
They jumped over a broom in the local Negro church….or maybe even had the ceremony out in the woods or the field.
Thanks for reading, guys! Mike Phil, He DID set the example with the first two. Eve was made of Adam’s rib; He literally made two out of one, which is what marriage today symbolizes: two people joined as one flesh. In that creation, He performed the very FIRST wedding ceremony. Also, I list many many scriptures above where God clearly does lay out His laws on sex and sex before marriage. So, I think there’s just been a misunderstanding on this issue.
I’m just not sure what your argument is supposed to be about, uppity Negro. Clearly if slaves weren’t considered people, they couldn’t legally be married in this country. But what we still don’t seem to understand in this day and age is that marriage is so much more than a legal document. It isn’t created or dissolved when papers are filed. It is a spiritual relationship between the two people and God, as I explain in the post. However, the laws of our society today determine that married people should do certain legal things in order to take advantage of the benefits of legal marriages. There are several scriptures, including Romans 13:1, that tell Christians to follow the laws of the land. If you want to be married legally on earth in this country, you follow the laws in order to do so.
Let’s not quote Romans 13 about how good the government is and why we should be subject to it.
Primarily, St. Augustine wrote “An unjust law is no law at all” and I’d reference you to the 3/5ths clause of the Constitution, the 1850 Fugitive Slave Act, Plessy v. Ferguson and the tons of ordinances and covenants passed across the country in municipalities that restricted the rights of blacks for decades. Just because it’s the law doesn’t make it right, nor make it superior.
My argument is real simple: I just think everything you wrote needs to be debunked in it’s entirety.
If you don’t believe the Bible, then this post isn’t for you. I’m ok with that…are you? Be blessed!
I feel like he just wants to be negative and disagrees with every point you make because he disagrees with the entire article. I dont understand why ppl intend on trying to twist the Bible into what works best for them. We are to present our bodies a living sacrifice unto God, its not about us…its about bringing Him glory. It was a great article and it didnt fall on deaf ears…be encouraged sis!
Thanks for reading and commenting, TB! Glad you were blessed!!
Why in the world do so few Christians know what the word “fornication” means or the history of the term? Where did the myth that the word “fornication” means “pre-marital sex” come from?
The English word “fornication” originates from a term that references prostitution.
The Greek word, found in the Bible, was a blanket term that referred to gross sexual immorality: specifically, prostitution and promiscuity. It has the same root word as “pornography.”
You’re talking to the wrong people.
If you talk to a lot of pastors and people higher up in the Church hierarchy, you be surprised at how they actually have logical arguments about things like this; they’d actually try to find out when the term fornication became the synonymous term for pre-marital sex. Now, I’m not saying that they’d agree with you, but they’d try their best to debate you in a logical way.
The ones who tend not to make any effort in logic, or the people who tend to be the ones who just quote the bible, as though they can’t think for themselves, are the one’s who feel you’re attacking them when you challenge what they’re saying. A lot of these Christians have never entertained studying the religion or it’s history, or how certain ideas or interpretations came into existence, because they’re not independent thinkers; they aren’t leaders, and they don’t embrace the concept of critical thinking, even though the people who lead them do.
Most high-level Christians have read several books on Christian history from the Roman Empire to the modern day, so they can understand the religion and be better suited to defend it. They know a lot about the pagan history that is associated with Christianity, and the inconsistencies found in the bible. Unfortunately, if they go out, and try to make sense of this to their followers, their followers will turn on them. That’s why most preachers tell their followers what they need to hear, because they know that most church followers don’t want to think or do anything that involves them questioning themselves.
It is blanket in terms of how the word was used in different translations of the bible…the greek term im assuming your speaking of is porneia, however that origin or word has multiple derivatives of meaning in greek..i.e., harlot, idolatry, whore, prostitution, indulging (some say its all inclusive of homosexuality and the like)…really its all still based upon opinion of what parallels one to the other…
“that origin or word has multiple derivatives of meaning in greek”
And none of these are a reference to premarital sex…so it’s very bizarre to me how many Christians just flatly accept that fornication = premarital sex.
@DCDistrictDiva – You know I LOVE this post and have shared it with many! I had to say that I also love the way you handled those comments from those who don’t believe and challenge your faith! I am with you! Great job & God Bless!
I am a woman in my 40′s. I found your article extremely accurate and informative. I have been celibate for 12 years and I am happy with this decision. When I began my Christian journey in 1999, I took the Bible literally. I wanted to do things “right”, according to the Bible. My main scriptures to validate my decision were Romans 12 and Jeremiah 29:11. Read these scriptures for yourself and see what revelations you get. What many people don’t realize about having casual sex is the emotions that are created-soul ties. If you are not familiar with the term soul-ties, Dr. Juanita Bynum’s, “No More Sheets” can educate you as well as Evangelist Ty Adams’, “Single, Saved, and Having Sex.” The latter discusses soul-ties, lesbianism, and demonic doors that are opened by various sexual practices. Being honest, I never thought that I would still be single, but I would rather be single and sexually pure than to be in the state that I was in prior to beginning my Christian journey. If people would tell the truth, you can be awfully lonely with the wrong person in your bed-no intimacy, just animalistic sex. I believe God has More for us to experience than that. I’ll wait.
You hit the nail right on the head! People do need to be more honest, because it is true that you feel very lonely when you’re with the wrong person or in a casual sex relationship with someone. Deep down, one knows they’re not being fulfilled and that they’re missing out on the better things God has in store for them. Thanks for sharing your perspective because I now believe & understand how it’s better to be alone & sexually pure than being with someone who actually makes you miserable and they’re really only with you for sex. …So yea, God definitely has a better plan for our lives, which is to prosper us & not hurt us.
I’m not really looking to jump into this conversation -especially since it seems to be pretty dead as of now- I’d just like to tell the author: Thank you. <3 Quite simply, just one line from this article has made my life 1000 million times easier. I'm 17, and easily staying a virgin. It's difficult however, to resist the temptation that the opposite sex brings. It's even harder to find someone to be my "boyfriend" but understand the commitments I choose to make to God. Especially amongst the black men of my generation, who are constantly aroused by the messages that rap send to them. I won't lie, I listen to it too, but I'd like to think that my Chrisitian background keeps the majority of it from penetrating into my brain.
When I look at all the "video girls" in the music video I'm nothing but hurt. Firstly because these girls are 100% beautiful and need not go all out like they do to get attention. Secondly, because I know that I will never be one of those girls. I don't act like them, dress like them, nor do I believe what they seem to believe. But they're what all the guys seem to want. There's been a lot of prayer (from both me and my Grandma) asking God to help me find a husband with whom I share faith. I'm thinking a long way into the future, but as of now my pickings are pretty slim. =\